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| Posted by Paul C. Rudge on 14-Aug-2005 | Children of the 80's- You know what a "burnout" is.
- You know what "Sike" means.
- You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".
- You know that another name for a keyboard is a"Synthesizer".
- You wanted to be a Goonie.
- You know who Max Headroom is.
- You ever wore flourescent, neon if you will, clothing.
- You could breakdance, or wish you could.
- You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
- Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.
- You wanted to be on StarSearch.
- You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
- You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who did.
- You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout".
- You HAD to have your MTV
- You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future".
- You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
- You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
- You heard of Garbage Pail Kids.
- You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince".
- You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
- You own any cassettes.
- You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.
- You remember And/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from Pizza Hut.
- Or any other stupid collection they came out with.
- Poltergeist freaked you out.
- You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
- You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
- You know what a Doozer is.
- You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did.
- You ever had a Swatch Watch.
- You can name 1/2 the members of Duran Duran
- You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
- You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.
- You know what a "Whammee" is.
- You had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi, or knew someone who did.
If you can identify with at least half of this list then you are most certainly a product of the 80's!
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| Posted by stemo on 14-Aug-2005 | Tastes Like ChickenWent to lunch with a friend today to a new chicken place. We asked how they prepare their chickens.
The answer was, "We just tell them they're going to die."
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| Posted by Greenbean on 14-Aug-2005 | Mommy, mommy!Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.
Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.
Mommy, Mommy! What's for dinner? Shut up and get back in the oven!
Mommy, mommy, what is a delinquent child? Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
Mommy, mommy, what is a delinquent child? Shut up and pass me the crowbar.
Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men? Shut up and get back in the oven.
Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere? Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma? Not today, we already dug her up three times this week.
Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs? Shut up and eat your cornflakes!
Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa? Shut up and get back in the box!
Mommy, Mommy! What's a werewolf? Shut up and comb your face!
Mommy, Mommy! Billy won't let go of my ear. Billy, let go of Susie's ear. Billy! Let go of her ear! All right Billy, give me the ear.
Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts. Well, just leave them on the side of the plate
Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale? Shut up and keep digging.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't like grandpa. Well, just push him aside and eat your beans.
Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out! Well throw some more gasoline on him then.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia. Shut up son and keep swimming.
Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles. Shut up son or I'll nail your other foot to the floor
Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma! Shut up and keep digging.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl? Shut up and flush.
Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim! Shut up or I'll flush it again!
Mommy Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here. Shut up or I'll flush it again.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgs for supper! Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.
Mommy, Mommy! I HATE tomato juice! Shut up and drink it before it clots.
Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire? Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.
Mommy Mommy! I don't like tomato soup! Shut up, we only have it once a month.
Mommy, Mommy! I HATE spagetti! Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.
Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye! Shut up and eat around it.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!
Mommy, Mommy! Joey is biting grandma's nail. Joey, stop it, or I am closing the coffin!
Mommy, Mommy! Can I buy a new dress? You know it won't fit over your iron lung.
Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids? Shut up and deal.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I brush my teeth? Yes, now shut up and get the jar!
Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! Shut up and get away from the dart board!
Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big. Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!
Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox? Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire! Shut up and get the marshmallows!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire! Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls! Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon! Shut up and close the coffin!
Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles? Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder! Shut up and eat your hamburger!
Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on this golf course? Shut up and search the sand traps!
Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers! Shut up and eat your french fries!
What did the little boy say when his mother scolded him for cutting his Christmas present (a spotted hamster) neatly in two pieces with a cleaver?
Answer: "But, Mommy, you said that if I was good, I could halve him."
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| Posted by Nathan Burns on 14-Aug-2005 | WitchesDo you know why witches don't wear underwear?
To get a better grip on the broom!!
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| Posted by Mr Female on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 14 Signs Your SUV Is Too Damn Big (Part II)14> It's impossible to drive it in ONLY Rhode Island.
13> Your threats to "turn around and end this trip right now!" must be phoned in to be heard.
12> Backing out of the driveway requires canal locks, four tugboats, a team of engineers and clearance from the FAA.
11> Al Roker's bariatric surgeon recommends you bring it into the garage to have its engine stapled.
10> It has its own congressman.
9> Climate control includes settings for the ozone level.
8> When you floor it, the earth slows down a tad.
7> You're spending too much time prying Honda Civics out of your tire treads.
6> Every time you fill up, Saddam Hussein goes, "Cha-CHING!"
5> You have a "War and Peace" bumper sticker -- the entire novel.
4> Your penis is actually shrinking just to compensate.
3> Three times this week you had to get the dealer to scrape migrating geese off the bumper.
2> Greenpeace has assigned the "Rainbow Warrior" Micro Bus to position itself between your SUV and the endangered Isuzu Amigos.
1> Rebel forces mistake it for a small moon.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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| Posted by beach bum on 14-Aug-2005 | Things to Ponder1. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
2. Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
3. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
4. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
5. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
6. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
7. Why is the alphabet in that order?
8. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
9. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?(I've tried it, it doesn't work)
10. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
11. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
12. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
13..If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
14. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
15. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
16. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
17. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
19. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
20. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
21. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
22. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
23. Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
24. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
25. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
26. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
27. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
28. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
29. Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
30. Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
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