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| Posted by Bri6285 on 09-Aug-2005 | Children's ProverbsA first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Their insight may surprise you.
Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.
Never underestimate the power of...termites.
You can lead a horse to water but...how?
Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new... math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's... pollution.
A penny saved is... not much.
Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
Submitted by Curtis
EDited by calamjo
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| Posted by Big Dadddy on 09-Aug-2005 | What is that?Little Bobby sat in the bathroom talking to his mother as she was taking a bath.
She got up to dry herself when Bobby noticed something.
With a puzzled look on his face he asked his mother, "Mommy what is that?"
She replied, "That is where Daddy hit me with an ax."
Then Bobby replied, "No shit! Right in the pussy?"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Chris Dutto on 09-Aug-2005 | Daddy JonnyLittle Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by Rylee Angel on 09-Aug-2005 | Johnny's pussyAt school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the class, and she discovered little Johnny had a cat up his pants.
She said, "Why have you got your cat at school?"
Little Johnny started crying, "I woke up this morning to hear the mailman tell my mommy, 'I'm gonna eat your pussy today!'"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Nicole on 09-Aug-2005 | Darn kidsA mother-in-law visits her son-in-law before leaving for a trip.
They are sipping coffee and chatting.
Suddenly, mother-in-law looks at the clock and jumps off her chair exclaiming, "My God! It's already 3 p.m., I'm about to miss my train!" She begins to put her clothes on in a hurry.
At this moment, the son-in-law's daughter runs up to her and before he can do anything and announces, "Don't hurry, granny! Daddy moved the clock two hours ahead!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Fi Phe on 09-Aug-2005 | Step, step, roar...A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar loudly.
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the front.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was just being the Ring Bear!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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