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| Posted by Chez Bez on 13-Aug-2005 | Christmas Quickies
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What disasters could happen if you dropped the Christmas turkey ?
The downfall of Turkey, the breakup of China and the otherthrow of Greece !
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?
Santa Jaws !
How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert ?
Lost !
Whats ice ?
Skid Stuff!
Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !
How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !
What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !
What did the guest sing at the Eskimo's Christmas party ?
Freeze a jolly fellow !
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| Posted by Fantastique Lindsay on 13-Aug-2005 | Inappropriate CostumeANN ARBOR, Michigan - Christian Silbereis, 17, wanted his Halloween costume to be educational. So he came to school dressed at a giant vagina. The costume was created by his mother, to wear at his school's Halloween fancy dress contest. School officials did not feel the pink cape decorated with wig hair, satin and lace was appropriate, however, and they suspended the student for the remainder of the week. Silbereis's mother warned him that the costume might make some people uncomfortable, but he still won first prize in the contest.
Silbereis defended his choice saying, "It's anatomically correct. It's just another body part - they teach us about it in school. I mean, what if I was wearing an elbow costume? That's part of the body. Would they suspend me then?" A petition is being passed around to students objecting his suspension. High School officials refuse to comment on the reason for the suspension.
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():holiday jokes (333): Top 16 signs you hired a bad firewokrs expert |
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():holiday jokes (333): Top Ten Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid |
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| Posted by Tiffany on 13-Aug-2005 | Top Ten Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid
10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling
7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are Styrofoam peanuts
6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.
5. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the dork list
4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee
3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you."
2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"
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