Clones are people two....

Great advances are not produced by systems...

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer...

The engineer says, "How interesting! Scottish sheep are black!"

"No, no," says the physicist, "we only know that some Scottish sheep are black."

The mathematician heaves a deep sigh, and says, "We know that there exists at least one sheep in Scotland, at least one side of which is black."

Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was slightly...

It sort of had a mother, though the ovum was on loan,
It was not so much a lambkin, as a little lamby clone.

And soon it had a fellow clone, and soon it had some more,
They followed her to school one day, all cramming through the door.

It made the children laugh and sing, the teachers found it droll,
There were too many lamby clones, for Mary to control.

No other could control the sheep, since their programs didn't vary,
So the scientists resolved it all, by simply cloning Mary.

But now they feel quite sheepish, those scientists unwary,
One problem solved, but what to do, with Mary, Mary, Mary...

In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked...

Limbaughium (Lb) - The heaviest known element. It possesses an ever-expanding mass. Very white. Acidic. Emits heat but no light. Instantly polarizes all elements that come in contact with it. Repels protons and electrons; attracts only morons.

Billclintium (Bc) - With a slick appearance and slimy texture, this element undergoes a series of interesting changes when in hot water.

Canadium (Eh) - Similar to Americium, but a little denser. Much more rigid. Often called Boron.

Innofensium (Pc) - Precisely equal numbers of electrons, protons, neutrons, leptons, quarks. Completely inert, utterly useless, but smells like a rose.

Newtium (Nt) - Extreme irritant. Carries a strong negative charge. Does not possess magnetic properties. Can be purchased cheaply.

Quaylium (Vp) - Einsteinium it ain't.

Budweisium (Ps) - Has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable from water.

Cabmium (Cb) - Found in abundance, except when needed. Exists in two states, in motion and at rest. When in motion, it cannot be stopped, no matter what you do. Cabmium has a charge associated with it. The charge is variable, and scientists have not determined the formula for calculating it.

Politicium (Po) - Contains a great deal of gas. Similar to radon in that it can reach lethal concentrations in the House.

Congress (Cg) - Atomic number 525. Can never be found in a solution.

Snot (Sn) - Bonds forever with corduroy.

Kryptonite (S) - Kills Superman. That's it. That's all it does.

Higher intellects seek lower forms of amusement....