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| Posted by Darren N. Doyle on 12-Aug-2005 | Confutious says:confutious says: Man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger
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| Posted by Vince Joebob on 13-Aug-2005 | Ya maya ma is so fat god said let there be light so she rolle
d over
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| Posted by Andrew B. Mclean on 12-Aug-2005 | Your hairlineyou need to shut up with your 1 2 3 way back hairline.
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| Posted by Avi Marcus on 14-Aug-2005 | Pool PartyOnce there was a rich dude who owned a huge mansion, lots of
cars, was an alcoholic, and smoked crack. He even had a huge
pool which he filled with hundreds of alligators.
One day he was having a pool party and everyone got drunk and
high. After a while the rich guy stood up on a table and made a
speech. He said, "Anyone who swims across my pool will get my
house. No one jumped in. Then he said, "Anyone who swims across
my pool gets my house and my cars. No one jumped. "Anyone who
swims across my pool gets my house, my cars, alcohol, and my
cars." No one jumped in. "Anyone who swims across my pool gets
my house, my cars, my alcohol, and my crack. He heard a splash
and looked up.
He saw a guy jump into the pool. Alligators were on him in a
second, but this guy did tarzan moves, wrestled alligators, etc.
Finally, he climbed out on the other side. The rich dude walked
around and said, "That was amazing. I never thought anyone would
do that! When do you want my house?" The guy said "I don't want
your house." "When do you want my cars?" "I don't want your
cars." " When do you want my alcohol? "I don't want your
alcohol." When do you want my crack?" "I don't want you crack."
"Well, what do you want?" "I want the freaking bastard who
pushed me in!"
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| Posted by Vegitto on 14-Aug-2005 | Not My Drink!There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays
like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck
driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just
drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man,
I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just
can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I
fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous,
fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it
was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a
cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my
wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.
I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the
gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was
thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink
my poison..."
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| Posted by Joanne Massoud on 09-Aug-2005 | Duck walks into barA duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "You got any fish?"
The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell fish" so the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "You got any fish?"
The bartender says,"I told you yeaterday. This is a bar and we don't sell fish."
Ther following day, the duck returns and asks,"You got any fish?"
The bartender looses it, grabs the duck bu the neck, and screams,"I TOLD YOU TWICE. THIS IS A BAR. WE DON"T SELL FISH IF YOU ASK AGAIN, I'M GONNS NAIL YOUR *@#& WEBBED FEET TO THE FLOOR!"
The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?"
The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don"t have any nails."
The duck says,"Good. Got any fish?"
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