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| Posted by Zarra on 09-Aug-2005 | Corporal punishment"I have decided to abolish all corporal punishment at this school," said the principal at morning assembly.
"That means that there will be no physical punishment."
A voice is heard from the back, "Does that mean that we don't have to eat school meals any more, sir?"
Submitted by curtis
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by DJ Davis on 09-Aug-2005 | Birds and the BeesA father asked his son, Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Johnny said, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.
"Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight.
If you're now telling me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by J W on 09-Aug-2005 | Having a wifeAt Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked,
"Johnny what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side.
I think I'm going to have a wife."
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Mel Ehrenzeller on 09-Aug-2005 | Confused a littleLittle Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls, and would his mother, please, sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."
So, Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.
"First Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse..." So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
"OK, now take off my skirt..." And he takes off her skirt.
"Now, take off my bra..." Which he does.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties..."
And when Johnny finishes removing these, she says,
"Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"
"What were you thinking?"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
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| Posted by Vegitto on 09-Aug-2005 | GartersA young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day.
It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard.
Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard.
Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up.
This time there is a burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw," replies Little Johnny, "my school days are over!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by curtis and yisman
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| Posted by Tommy K. Barf on 09-Aug-2005 | FascinateA teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence.
Brian raises his hand and says, "The sky is fascinating."
The teacher says, "No, that's fascinating."
Jennifer raises her hand and says, "When I saw the tigers at the zoo I was fascinated."
The teacher says, "No, that's fascinated."
So finally Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "My mom bought a new blouse with 12 pearl buttons, but her boobs are so big she could only fasten eight!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤ and yisman
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