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():sport jokes (950): Couldn't play without me


Posted by Laurie Hiestand on 10-Aug-2005

Couldn't play without me

When I was a young boy, all the other kids insisted that I was in the football
team. They said I was vital to the game.
They couldn't possibly play without me.
They needed me.
I was the only one with a football.
   

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():sport jokes (950): Picked for the school team


Posted by pedro on 10-Aug-2005

Picked for the school team

"Dad, dad!" cried Philip, as he arrived home one evening. "I think I've been
selected for the school football team."
"That's good," said his father. "But why do you only think you've been
selected? Aren't you sure? What position are you playing?"
"Well," replied Philip, "it's not been announced officially, but I overheard
the football coach tell my teacher that if I was in the team I'd be a great
draw-back."
   

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():sport jokes (950): Play every other match


Posted by Vickie Felix on 10-Aug-2005

Play every other match

`I just don't understand it,' an Irish footballer complained.
`One match I play very well, and then the next match I'm terrible.'
'Well,' said his wife, `why don't you just play every other match?'
   

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():sport jokes (950): Just so long


Posted by Me myself and I on 10-Aug-2005

Just so long

`I don't care about results!' said an Irish team manager being interviewed on
television. 'Just so long as our team wins!'
   

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():sport jokes (950): Football Math!


Posted by Robert T. on 11-Aug-2005
Football Math!
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, - "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"
"Did you say 4?!" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had given the right answer.

Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
   

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():sport jokes (950): Here Moosey Moosey.


Posted by Braelyn Garin on 11-Aug-2005
Here Moosey Moosey.
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, put on their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but if I were you, I'd brace myself!"
   

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