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| Posted by Noreen Hassan on 11-Aug-2005 | Cyanide WatermelonThe was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign. It says, ???Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.??? So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which reads, ???Now there are two.???
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| Posted by silverseeker on 11-Aug-2005 | Cohones de Toro...A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on acation down here! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"!
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
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| Posted by Babidoll on 11-Aug-2005 | The family crisisThis family is sitting around the table and the kids have some meat in front of them and dont know wut it is. moms on the phone and says "thanks for givin us the deer meat the kids love it but dont know wut it is". the dad says " the name of the meat is something that ur mom calls me." the little boy says spit it out spit it out sister its asshole.
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| Posted by Butter Fly on 11-Aug-2005 | Arthritic ThumbA man sits down at a diner counter and, when the waitress arrives, orders a bowl of chili. The waitress brings the chili but, the man notices, her thumb is in the chili. "Uh, ma'am", asks the customer, "may I ask what your thumb is doing in my bowl of chili"? "Well", answers the waitress, "I went to the doctor today, and he said I have arthritis in my thumb.....and to keep it in something warm every chance I got". Outraged, the customer retorts, "Well, then....why don't you shove it up your fuckin' ass??" The waitress smiles, and says, "I DO when I'm back in the kitchen".
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| Posted by Harry Nipples on 11-Aug-2005 | Smart pillsTwo buddies were walking down the warf one day.Jack asked Joe what is 99+347.Well Joe said,thats easy boy,thats 446.Joe boy your getting some smart Jack said.Well Jack I been eating smart pills.You got anymore Joe.Yes I got More.So then Joe puts his hand down the ass of his pants and takes one out and gives it to jack.Then Jacks says my Joe,this tastes like shit.Joe says well Jack,your getting smarter already.
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