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| Posted by Box Social on 14-Aug-2005 | Dan Quayle QuotesSome classic mistakes from Dan Quayle:
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I
mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this
century. I didn't live in this century.
If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a
challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we're
going forward to tomorrow or whether we're going to go past to
the--to the back!
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is
being very wasteful. How true that is.
Classic--Add one little bit on the end... Think of "potatoe",
how's it spelled? You're right phonetically, but what else...?
There ya go... all right!
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| Posted by L'il Biatch on 14-Aug-2005 | Life and ShavingLiving your life is like shaving...no matter how well you do it today, you
still gotta do it tomorrow.
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| Posted by Mogs on 14-Aug-2005 | Sex is Okay :)Sex is Evil,
Evil is Sin,
Sin is Forgiven,
So Lets Begin!
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| Posted by Chris Rinchik on 14-Aug-2005 | Our Bombs Are SmarterOur bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they
can find Kuwait.
--A. Whitney Brown
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| Posted by vicky on 14-Aug-2005 | Tombstones1. This is all over my head. ~Robert Benchly
2. Involved in a plot. ~Dorothy Parker
3. Here lies Walter Winchel in the dirt he loved so well.
~Walter Winchel
4. This one's on me! ~Milton Berle
5. I had a hunch something like this would happen. ~Fontain Fox
6. On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. ~W. C. Feilds
7. Well, I've played everything but a harp. ~Lionel Barrymore
8. This is too deep for me. ~Don Herold
9. Here's something I want to get off my chest! ~William Haines
10. Dentist's epitaph in a Connecticut cemetery:
"When on this tomb you gaze with gravity,
Cheer up! I'm filling my last cavity."
11. Epitaph on the grave of a hypochondriac: "I told you I was
sick!"
EPITAPHS IN OLD CHURCHYARDS: from the collection of Carl S. Cancy
12. Sacred to the Memory of Jared Bates
Who died August the 6th, 1800.
His widow, aged 24, lives at 7 Elm Street,
Has every qualification for a good wife,
And yearns to be comforted.
13. In Memory of Mr.Peter Daniels
Born August 7, 1688. Died May 20, 1746.
Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,
Lies Uncle Peter Daniels,
Who too early in the month of May
Took off his winter flannels.
14. "School is out and the teacher has gone home."
15. "He was a simple man who died of complications."
16. "Here lies Jonny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising."
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| Posted by Brock on 14-Aug-2005 | MarriageMen with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've
experienced pain and bought jewelry. --Rita Rudner
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