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| Posted by quack quack on 11-Aug-2005 | Deaf BearWhat do you call a bear without an ear?
A B!
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| Posted by Samantha A. S on 11-Aug-2005 | Daffy Goes FishingDaffy (a blonde duck) was a bit behind schedule. Winter had arrived already and she was just heading south. As she was flying above a small lake, she spotted a net and figured it was just as good a time as any to stop for a snack. Perhaps she could steal a fish before someone caught her. When she landed by the net, there was quite the commotion and she was hit . . . by the puck.
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| Posted by kevin g. kambool on 11-Aug-2005 | Crossing a Mule and OnionsQ: What do you get when you cross a mule with a sack of onions?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
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| Posted by Nikki L. Heller on 11-Aug-2005 | Cross Between . . . .Q: What do you get when you cross a Pick Pocket with a Peeping Tom?
A: A person who Watches Snatches!
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| Posted by rollersk8er on 11-Aug-2005 | Cow With No LegsQ: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.
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| Posted by Linda Jackson on 11-Aug-2005 | Chicken RanchMy uncle was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought them.
He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different tones of the bells and marking down each encounter.
My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. Brewster was a fine specimen, but his bell didn't ring all morning. Uncle went to investigate.
Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Chagrined at first, Uncle was soon so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair.
Brewster was an overnight sensation. They not only awarded him the No Bell prize but also the Pullet Surprise.
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