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| Posted by Josh P. on 09-Aug-2005 | Deaf frogSidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences.
One summer day he started his own investigations. With his 12-year-old sister Sophie in tow, he caught a large bull frog in a local pond.
Sidney started his experiment with the amphibian, and told Sophie her job was to write down the results of the experiment.
Sidney drew a line in the sand, placed the frog on the line, and prodded the frog with a small twig from the rear and shouted, "Jump, frog!"
The frog jumped, and Sidney measured the distance. "12 feet...write that down, Sophie," he said.
Next, he brought the frog back to the starting point and removed the frog's right front leg.
Again he prodded the frog and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped 10 feet, and on instruction, Sophie wrote it down.
Again the frog was brought back, the left front leg was removed, and again "Jump, frog!" Sidney reported, "Six feet...write it down."
The next time, Sidney removed the large right back leg. "Jump, frog!" Then, he shouted "Jump, frog!" and prodded the frog. "The frog jumped 8 inches...writes it down, Sophie."
Finally, Sidney removed the frog's remaining back left leg, put it down and prodded the frog with the twig shouting, "Jump, frog! Jump, frog! JUMP FROG!! JUMP JUMP FROG!!!"
The frog didn't jump. Sophie looked at Sidney, and said, "So what should I write down?"
Sidney thought a moment, and then told Sophie to write, "When you remove all the legs from a frog, it turns deaf."
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| Posted by Prabsharan Singh on 09-Aug-2005 | Christmas CarolsA teacher in Atlanta asked her students to write the words to their favorite Christmas Carols.
She probably got fired for mentioning Christmas in school. Anyway here are some of the humorous lines she received:
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
He's makin a list, chicken and rice.
Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer. (All of the other reindeer)
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is sparse and brown
You'll go down in listerine
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
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| Posted by Harriet Uhm on 09-Aug-2005 | Disney videoDaughter: I want the latest Disney princess video.
Mother: What's it called?
Daughter: "Each sold separately."
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| Posted by Damian O. Miller on 09-Aug-2005 | Mrs Jones classMiss Jones wanted to start the year off right. She announced to her 5th
grade class, "Boys and girls, there are two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool."
From the back of the room Little Johnny called out, "So, what are the
words?"
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| Posted by Erin Heavey on 09-Aug-2005 | Holy WaterA little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.
A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.
The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby."
The little boy replied, "That's nothing, you take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's bottom and he'll pass a Harley Davidson Motor cycle.
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| Posted by Abbey J. Heier on 09-Aug-2005 | DefinitelyNursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue"
Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green"
"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."
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