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| Posted by Kayli on 11-Aug-2005 | Delicious Chewing GumA Frenchmen is calmly having his breakfast when an American (noisily chewing gum) sits beside him.
The Frenchman ignores the American who (not happy about this) starts a conversation.
American: "Do you eat the whole bread?"
French (in a bad mood): "Of course!"
American: "We don't. We only eat what is inside and the outside we put together in a container, recycle it, transform it into croissants and sell it to France."
The French listens in silence.
The American insists: "Do you eat the bread with jam?"
French (now more annoyed): "Of course!"
American: "We don't. We eat fresh fruit for our breakfast, put all the seed and the rest in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to France."
The Frenchman then asks: "And what do you do with condoms once you used them?"
American: "We throw them away, of course!"
French: "We don't. We put them in a container, recycle them, transform them into chewing gum and sell it to America."
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| Posted by james on 11-Aug-2005 | Food for ThoughtPatient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out."
Doctor: That's easy. Eat shit!
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| Posted by Rhino on 11-Aug-2005 | Baked beansThere once was a man who when he married his wife he swore never to eat baked beans because things happened when he did. one day when he took a 5 mile walk after 2 miles he got very hungry. ahead of him was baked bean stand. he was so hungry he had to have some. when he was finished eating he got very hyper and started to fart. since he still had 3 miles to go he thought it would wear off.
when he stepped into his house his eyes were covered with a blind fold. "i have a surprise for you" said his wife. "okay he said" he sat down at the table when the phone rang. he than realized eh had to fart. he let out a little bit. than a little bit more. finally he let out all of it. when his wife came back she took off the blind fold and sitting in front of him were 12 guests.
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| Posted by pink_sparkle on 11-Aug-2005 | Vibrators and SoybeansQ: What do vibrators and soybeans have in common?
A: They are both great substitutes
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| Posted by holly mcmahon on 11-Aug-2005 | Pickle juiceThere was a building and the first floor had a pickle store. the second was nothing. the third floor was selling saws.one day a person went out on the porch of the second floor. the third floors manager droped a saw down. the saw cut the person's ass then ass fell into a pickle jar. after a while an old lady bought the pickle jar with the ass inside it.when she went home she ate one. then she ate another one and another and another until the ass. when she ate it she said this one is extra good. she went back to the pickle store she said she will take 20 more jars......especially the ones with the white things inside it...
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| Posted by sarah david on 11-Aug-2005 | Making cakesA mother and daughter were walking through the park one sunny afternoon. They passed a bench where two teenagers were making out. The daughter turns to her mother and asks
"What are they doing?"
The mother stutters and replies
"They are making cakes dear"
The next day the mother took the daughter to the zoo. They went to see the gorillas. When they got there the gorillas were shagging in the cage. Again the daughter turns to the mother and asks
"What are they doing?"
The mother is not as shocked and remembers what she had said to her daughter in the park.
"They are making cakes dear"
That night the mother and father got jiggy on the sofa. The next morning the daughter comes into the kitchen and asks her mother
"Mum, were you and dad making cakes on the sofa last night?"
The mother was very embarrassed and turn to her daughter and said
"Why dear?"
To that the daughter replied
"Because i just licked the icing off of the sofa"
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