Funny quotes

Funny quotes
http://www.jokesnquotes.com/ - Funny quotes
  Categories

funny quotes

animal jokes

bar jokes

holiday jokes

travel & vacation jokes

sport jokes

other funny jokes

signs of our times

nerd jokes

just do it

funny laws

funny definitions

blind jokes

funny bumper stickers

crazy jokes

food jokes

funny ads

little johnny

school humor

top list jokes

funny thoughts



Navigation:

· jokes and quotes
· Add joke
· New jokes
· Last 5 jokes
· Best jokes
· Search jokes
  Service menu

· Freedback
· Recommend Us
· Subscription
  Our friends

There isn't content right now for this block.
():nerd jokes (650): Different horses


Posted by Ben T. Halbig on 13-Aug-2005

Different horses

Jon bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested Jon notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested he measure the horses for height. When he did, he was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): The wonders of the new baby


Posted by Coley T. Dyaps on 13-Aug-2005

The wonders of the new baby

One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she whispered in his ear.

"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50!"


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Adopting a Russian baby


Posted by Wallee on 13-Aug-2005

Adopting a Russian baby

Morris and Becky were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Castration (Ouch!)


Posted by shelby on 13-Aug-2005

Castration (Ouch!)

Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated."

The doctor says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation."

Fred replies, "Doc, I just want to be castrated and I'm a little embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it?"

The doctor says, "Well, okay, I guess I could make this one exception. I don't understand it, but alright."

He puts Fred to sleep, does the operation and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up. "Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks.

"It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my..."

"Circumcised!" yells Fred. "That's the word!"


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Expressing Stupidity


Posted by JELLOSA on 13-Aug-2005
Expressing Stupidity
Few sandwiches short of a picnic
   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

():nerd jokes (650): Diner Story


Posted by Rachael n. Everson on 13-Aug-2005
Diner Story
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.

Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, 'Humph, not much of a man, was he?' The waitress replied, 'Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles.'


   

0 people have rated this joke:
0.00/10
     

Jokes search
Input keyword:
Adversting