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():little johnny (1883): Dirty mind!


Posted by Kabez Blesing on 09-Aug-2005

Dirty mind!

The 10th grade teacher asks Jessica: "What part of the human body increases to 10 times it's normal size when excited?"

Jessica responds: "That's disgusting! I don't have to answer that question!"

So the teacher asks little Johnny, who responds: "That's easy...the pupil of the eye." "That's correct, Johnny. Very good!"

And turning to Jessica, she says: "I've three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!"

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
   

10 people have rated this joke:
7.30/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Worm in a hole


Posted by Mickey Kirksey on 09-Aug-2005

Worm in a hole

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.

The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.

He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."

The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."

The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
   

4 people have rated this joke:
7.25/10
     

():little johnny (1883): truck


Posted by Nick J. M on 08-Aug-2005

truck

It was time for the sex talk to their kids, Little Johnny and Little Jane.

Each parent took a kid

THE mother told Little Jane that her private spot was a garage and no boy should stick their truck in it

The father took Little Johnny aside and told his piece was a truck and should be parked in a garage when he is old enough

After their respective talks, both kids went outside to play.

Little Johnny comes running and screaming and locked himself in the bathroom.

Jane comes in with blood all over her mouth. Her mom asked, "What on earth happened?!"

Jane said "Well, Johnny tried to park his truck in my garage so i bit off his back tires..."
   

5 people have rated this joke:
7.20/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Playing trains


Posted by alison robichaux on 09-Aug-2005

Playing trains

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying,
'All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop. And all you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your arses in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks.'

The horrified mother went in and told her son,
'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.'

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,
'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.'

She hears the little boy continue
'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'

As the mother began to smile, the child added,
'For those of you who are pissed off about the two-hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.'

   

6 people have rated this joke:
7.17/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Turned to stone


Posted by Sam Malone on 09-Aug-2005
Turned to stone
Three boys are playing outside just after dark, when one of them noticed a light on in a window.

Billy says to Johnnie and Joey: "Let's take a peek!" They look in the window and see a pretty woman undressing. Suddenly, Johnnie runs away and the other boys can't find him.

The next day, Billy and Joey see Johnnie and ask: "Why'd you run away, you some kind of faggot or something?"

Johnnie replies: "No...My mother told me that if I ever do anything naughty, say anything naughty or even LOOK at anything naughty, God would turn me into stone. Well, when I looked in that window I started to get hard, so I ran away!"
   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Sex Ed.


Posted by Jaz on 09-Aug-2005
Sex Ed.
Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.

"Does anyone know what this is?" She asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy has two of them!"

"Two of them?!" the teacher asked.

"Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy's teeth!"
   

5 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

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