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| Posted by Zak L. Taylor on 09-Aug-2005 | Discovering AmericaTEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by Krissy J on 09-Aug-2005 | You know?Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, sir!"
Submitted by curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by blonde joke on 09-Aug-2005 | JewelryMother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in.
Child: Mother, where do babies come from?
Mother: Well dear, a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex. (The daughter looks puzzled.)
That means the daddy puts his penis in the mummy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey.
Child: Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into you and daddy's room, you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when a you do that?
Mother: Jewelry, dear!
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by Clark Kent
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| Posted by Rody G. Prot on 09-Aug-2005 | M&M'sA little boy and girl go trick or treating.
They knock on the door of a house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two are awful cute. Who are you supposed to be?"
"We're Jack and Jill," the girl replied.
The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill, you're black!"
So, they go off and a while later they come back dressed differently.
They ring the door bell and once again and the man opens the door.
"Well now, that is just darn cute. Who are you this time?"
"We're Hansel and Gretel," says the little boy.
"Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and Gretel because you're black!"
Heads hung low, they leave. Not too much later the man hears the bell ring again.
This time when he opens the door there stand the two children but this time they are BUCK NAKED.
"Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now!?" he asks.
"Chocolate M & M's," said the little girl. "I'm plain. He's got nuts."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by KharmaQueen on 09-Aug-2005 | SmartMy dad gave me one dollar bill.
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters,
'Cause two is more than one!
And then I took the quarters,
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes, I guess he don't know
That three is more than two!
Just then, along came old blind Bates.
And just 'cause he can't see,
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!
And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs.
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!
And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks.
And closed his eyes and shook his head,
Too proud of me to speak!
Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Josh Price on 09-Aug-2005 | SurpriseA farmer is working away in his yard when his son comes running around the corner and shouts at his dad, "Dad, the bulls fu**ing the cow."
His father replies, "No son, you don't say that. You say the bull is suprising the cow."
The son says, "OK," and runs off.
Two hours later the farmer's son runs across to his dad and says "Dad, dad, the bulls fu**ing the cow again."
His father says "No son, I've told you, you say the bull is surprising the cow."
The lad runs off again.
The next day the farmer is busy at work, his little lad runs up and shouts, "Dad the bull's surprising the cow."
His father replies, "Now that's a good lad."
The son says "No, no dad. The bull really is suprising the cow. It's fu**ing the horse."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing, yisman and Curtis
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