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Dog with no nose.

Lindsey:Are dog has no nose
Susie:Poor Dog,How does he smell
Lindsey:Awww,Terrible.

4 people have rated this joke:

4.75/10


	():animal jokes (1719): With a monkey wrench!

Posted by Ulax B. Cool on 10-Aug-2005

With a monkey wrench!

Q: How do you fix a broken chimp?
A: With a monkey wrench!

3 people have rated this joke:

4.67/10


	():animal jokes (1719): X-rated parrot

Posted by KateMaMate on 14-Aug-2005

X-rated parrot

A woman had a female parrot which kept saying, 'Hello, I am very horney.
Do you want to have some fun?' She was frantic, so she went to her Pastor
to find a solution to the problem. The Pastor said, 'Bring your bird to my
house. I have two male parrots who read the bible and pray all the time.
They will be a good influence on her.' So, the woman brought the parrot to
his house and put her parrot into the cage with the two male birds. She
squawked, 'Hello, I am very horney. Do you want to have some fun?' One
male parrot looked at the other one and said, 'Put away the Bible, Fred,
our prayers have been answered.'

2 people have rated this joke:

4.50/10


	():animal jokes (1719): African Safari

Posted by luvtalaf alot on 12-Aug-2005

African Safari

A man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an
elephant in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. The man
very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the
thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns
and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
The elephant then continues on its way.

\"I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember
me?\" the man muses to himself.

It is a few years later, and the man is at a circus back in the
States.

He notices that one of the elephants keeps looking at him, almost
like it KNOWS him. The man wonders, \"Could this be that elephant
I helped so long ago?\"

He decides to get a closer look. With the elephant still giving
him the staredown, the man moves in closer, getting right up in
front of the elephant. They lock eyes. A knowing look seems to
cross the elephant\'s face. It reaches down... picks the man up
carefully with its trunk... lifts him high in the air...
throws him crashing to the ground and stomps him to death!

Turns out it wasn\'t that elephant.

14 people have rated this joke:

4.50/10


	():animal jokes (1719): Three flys

Posted by J R on 12-Aug-2005

Three flys

there are three flys in a jar two girls one boy one of the girls get tired of being in a jar so she asked the male how do we get out he said suck my dick and ill tell you so she did he told her to fly up to the top as fast as she could so she did and she broke her neck same with the other one and the boy got out.

ask how

suck my dick and ill tell you

2 people have rated this joke:

4.50/10


	():animal jokes (1719): Gorilla and the Lion

Posted by Candy baby on 13-Aug-2005

Gorilla and the Lion

A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his mate for several months and was really horny. One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal keepers had left, he decided he was going to tear the bars apart and screw the first thing he could find. As he left his cage and ran through the zoo he came upon a lion sleeping in the grass. He really wasn't thrilled with his find but since he had promised himself he would take the first thing he could get, he grabbed the lion and screwed it.

Just as the gorilla finished, the lion awoke and was really pissed. The lion started chasing the gorilla through the zoo and was beginning to gain on him. The gorilla turned a corner and saw a park bench with a newspaper on it. Thinking quickly, the gorilla sat down on the bench and held the newspaper in front of him like he was reading it. When the lion turned the corner he stopped at the park bench. Not knowing what was behind the newspaper he asked the reader if he had seen a gorilla run by.

From behind the paper, the gorilla said, 'You mean the one that screwed the lion?' The lion shook his head and shouted, 'Oh no! It's already in the papers!'

4 people have rated this joke:

4.25/10