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| Posted by Wonder-Woman N. Super Man on 09-Aug-2005 | Don't help dearAn old Montana rancher hates wearing his seat belt.
One day, he's driving on the highway with his wife and sees a state trooper behind him.
He says to his wife, "Quick, take the wheel! I've got to put my seat belt on!"
She does, and right then, the trooper pulls them over.
He walks up to the car and says to the rancher, ??????Say, I noticed you weren??????t wearing your seat belt.??????
The rancher says, "I was, but you don't have to take my word for it. My wife is a good Christian, ask her. She'll tell you the truth. She doesn't lie about anything."
So the cop asks the wife.
The wife says, "I've been married to Buck for 20 years, officer, and one thing I've learned in all that time is this: You never argue with him when he's drunk."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Ab on 09-Aug-2005 | Night flightAn American tourist was boasting to an Irishman how advanced the Americans are. "Gee, we've even put a man on the moon."
"That's nothing," replied the Irishman," we're going to put a man on the sun."
"Don't be stupid," said the American," "he'll fry before he even gets there."
"Oh no, he won't. We're sending him at night."
Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Saucy Sammy on 09-Aug-2005 | Panic on the flightA plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the Captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles.
The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back
and relax...
OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I frightened you earlier while I was talking to you.
The flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach yelled, "You should see the back of mine."
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| Posted by Krissy Boo on 09-Aug-2005 | Children and spouses"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses."
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| Posted by Haydogg, Wooder on 09-Aug-2005 | Left behindOn landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.
If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
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| Posted by nate SmiTH on 09-Aug-2005 | Speeding ticketA motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Kansas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
Submitted by Admin
Edited by Curtis
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