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():animal jokes (1719): Dr. Seuss's lost tongue twister


Posted by Ann-Marie C. Fleming on 14-Aug-2005

Dr. Seuss's lost tongue twister

See if you can do this:
Read each line aloud

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top.
   

4 people have rated this joke:
8.25/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): the dum fish


Posted by Cow Man on 14-Aug-2005

the dum fish

once there was a fish and it had no tail and mommy and it died

   

146 people have rated this joke:
8.21/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Jewish Lady's Dog


Posted by BloodAngel on 14-Aug-2005

Jewish Lady's Dog

An old lady is boarding a plane with her dog in a cage to go to
isreal. The plane attendant says, "I am sorry ma'am, you can't
bring that dog on the plane it will have to go with the cargo."
She tries to explain to the man that the dog won't bark
becase...and she is rudely interupted by the attendant saying "I
am sorry, no exceptions."

So she does what he says, and she arives in Isreal. The people
are unpacking the cargo to find that the dog is dead. They
search all over town for an identical dog. after about 3 hours
of waiting, the man brings out this women's dog, barking and
hollering.

The women says, "sir, this isn't my dog." The man goes "of
course it is it looks exactly like it."

The women goes, "no sir my dog was dead I was coming to isreal
to bury it."


   

5 people have rated this joke:
8.20/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Huey, Dewy, and Puddles.


Posted by Patrick Zajda on 08-Aug-2005

Huey, Dewy, and Puddles.

A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: "Ah, you're lovely, aren't you?" she says to the first dog. "What's your name?" To her surprise, the dog actually answers her, "My name's Huey, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles."

Delighted with this discovery, she moves on to the next dog. "And what's your name then?" Again, unbelievably, the 2nd dog answers her, "My name's Lewy, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles." And so she moves on to the last dog. "Let me guess," she says. "your name's Dewy, and you've had a great day going in and out of puddles."

"No," replies the last dog. "My name's Puddles, and I've had an awful day!"
   

5 people have rated this joke:
8.20/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Three Dogs at the Vet


Posted by Nick G. Davis on 14-Aug-2005
Three Dogs at the Vet
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of
the dogs was hanging its head and sighing. The second dog turned to him
and asked "What are you in here for, buddy?" The dog looked depressed,
"I'm in big trouble", he said, "My owner has a really nice sports car with
leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he
took me for a ride and I was so excited, I pee'd on the nice leather seat.
Now he's having me put to sleep."

"I know how you feel", said the second dog. "My owners have a beautiful,
expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from
work and I just couldn't help myself...I shit all over their nice carpet
and ruined it. They're having me put to sleep, too."

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. "So what are you
here for?" they asked. "Well," said the third dog, "my owner likes to do
her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she knelt
down to vacuum under the sofa, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped
on her back and had the ride of my life!"

The other dogs nodded in sympathy, "So she's having you put to sleep, too,
huh?" "No," said the dog, "I'm having my nails clipped."

   

10 people have rated this joke:
8.10/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Jim


Posted by Stephen W. Gradwell on 14-Aug-2005
Jim
Why did Jim fall of the bike?
Because Jim was a fish.

   

6 people have rated this joke:
8.00/10
     

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