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():little johnny (1883): Dr Seuss's PC


Posted by Pimp Daddy on 09-Aug-2005

Dr Seuss's PC

Dr Seuss explains computers:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot it,
and let it go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the micro-code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your ROM,
So quickly turn off your computer and go and tell your mum!

   

3 people have rated this joke:
4.33/10
     

():little johnny (1883): School Counselor


Posted by Erin Sullivan on 09-Aug-2005

School Counselor

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other end. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was.

A little while later however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

   

2 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Blueberry Hill


Posted by vic Lee on 08-Aug-2005

Blueberry Hill

Little Johnny walked into his class and the teacher asked where he had been. he replied, "On blueberry hill."

The teacher, still confused, said, "Ok... have a seat." Another boy walked in and the teacher asked, "Where have you been." he replied, "On blueberry hill."

The teacher grumbled a bit and continued class. Enevtually, a girl walked in and the teacher said, "Let me guess... You were on blueberry hill."

The girl replied "No, but how did you know my name was Blueberry Hill?"
   

4 people have rated this joke:
3.25/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Ya mamma is so skinny


Posted by Katie Earle on 11-Aug-2005

Ya mamma is so skinny

Ya mamma is so skinny that when she ate a meatball she thought she was pregnant.
   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): Bad boy


Posted by Cornelius on 12-Aug-2005
Bad boy
One day there was a boy at school and his teacher told him to get 4 spelling words.

1st he went to his Brother and asked "Could you give me a spelling word?" His Brother answered "ShutUp" So he wrote down Shutup.

2nd he went to his Mother and asked her. She answered "Certainly" He wrote down certinly.

3rd he wen to his Dad and asked for somthing sweet. His dad answered Lolipop so he wrote down Lolipop.

4th he went to his little brother and asked the question. He answered "In my Little Blue Car"

The next day he went to school and his teacher asked for the words. He said his 1st word Shutup. Then she asked "Do you want to go to the principles office?" He said is second word "Certainly". In the principals office the principal asked what do you think you deserve, the boy answered "Lolipop!!" Then the principal asked "What do you think your punishment should be?" The boy answered "To go in my Little Blue Car!!!!"

   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

():little johnny (1883): The bus driver


Posted by Ben Cas on 12-Aug-2005
The bus driver
there was a kid on a buss and he sayed if my mom was a mommy giraph and my dad was a daddy giraph then i would be a babby giraph. and he sayed this over and over and then the buss dirver says what if you mom was a prostitute and you dad was gay. And the kid replied i\'d be a buss driver
   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

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