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():bar jokes (2610): Drinkers' Troubleshooting Guide |
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| Posted by christina d. clemons on 13-Aug-2005 | Bar BathroomThis drunk staggers into a bar, bumping into customers and spilling drinks as he makes his way to the bar. The bartender sees what is going on and is pissed at the drunk when he finally makes it to the bar. "Get out of here!" says the bartender.
"I gotta go to the baffroom," slurs the drunk.
"I said get the hell outta here or I'll throw you out!!" yells the bartender.
"I gotta go baffroom," says the drunk and starts to drop his drawers.
"Hold on, hold on" says the bartender "alright, you can go to the bathroom, but afterwards you get the hell out of my bar!"
The drunk agrees and stumbles off to the bathroom. After about 5 minutes, everyone hears this loud scream. Dead silence in the bar. Another loud scream-from the bathroom. The bartender and a few customers run to the bathroom. There's the drunk sitting down.
"What the hell is going on?" asks the bartender.
"I went, and every time I try to flush the toilet, it crushes my nuts!" says the drunk.
"Why, you stupid shit!" said the bartender. "You're sitting on my mop bucket!!"
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():bar jokes (2610): The Englishman, The Leprechaun and the Bar |
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| Posted by Rani Patel on 13-Aug-2005 | The Englishman, The Leprechaun and the BarAn Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he's drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says "Hey, what's that little green thing down there?"
The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to the Irishman. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, "Hey, what is that thing, anyway?"
The Irishman replies, "Have some respect. He's a leprechaun."
"Oh, all right." the Englishman says sullenly. They all go back to drinking beer.
An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered. "Boy, that leprechaun is ugly!" he says. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT! This time the Englishman is really mad! "Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I'll cut his pecker off!" he shouts.
"You can't do that" says the Irishman. "Leprechauns don't have peckers."
"How do they pee, then?" asks the Englishman.
"They don't." says the Irishman. "They go SPLBLBLBLBLT."
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():bar jokes (2610): Looking for the bathroom (and not succeeding) |
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