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| Posted by little e on 09-Aug-2005 | Drinking BuddiesTwo men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that."
They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"
"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender,"it's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."
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| Posted by MamasGirL Angel on 09-Aug-2005 | Drunk SuperheroTwo guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally plastered. The first guy said, ''Hey, I'll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you!'' Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ''YOU'RE ON!'' So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ''WOW,'' screamed the 2nd guy, ''That was incredible. Do it again!'' So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ''That is remarkable. Do it one more time!"
''Ok,'' said the first guy, ''But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it."
The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ''Your turn,'' he said.
So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. ''This is easy. He did it, so can I!" The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window. He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact. Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer. The bartender remarked, ''You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman!'''
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| Posted by shayan nouri on 09-Aug-2005 | Drunken Man and BlonAfter a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ''You wanna hear a blonde joke?'' The person replies, ''I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?''
The man thinks for a while and replies, ''Not if I have to explain it three times.''
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| Posted by xai chang birasco on 09-Aug-2005 | DyslexicA dyslexic walks into a bra....
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| Posted by Lori Shake on 09-Aug-2005 | Fall-Down DrunkA man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
"Screw it," he thought.
"I'll just crawl home."
The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.
"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?"
she said.
"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly.
"How did you know?"
"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."
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| Posted by Dennis L. Spencer on 09-Aug-2005 | Female Hormones in BTwo men were in a pub. One man said, ''Did you know that beer contains female hormones?'' The other man said, ''No! Is it true?'' ''Yes,'' said the first man. ''If you drink too much, you start talking crap and you drive terribly.''
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