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| Posted by sarah david on 09-Aug-2005 | Drunken Donut II: ThA cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says.
"Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"
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| Posted by Jeremy A. Bennett on 09-Aug-2005 | How Many Men to OpenHow many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you!
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| Posted by ben kiesel on 09-Aug-2005 | Just A JuggaloA man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says.
"Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop.
"Prove it."
So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy.
"I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
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| Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma on 09-Aug-2005 | Libraries Are SexyYou got any overdue library books? 'Cause you got fine written all over you!
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| Posted by debbie a. pinno on 09-Aug-2005 | Nagging Wife vs. DruA drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, ???Where have you been???? ???I've been to the pub,??? slurs the drunk. ???Well,??? says the cop, ???it looks like you've had quite a few.??? ???I did alright,??? the drunk says with a smile. ???Did you know,??? says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, ???that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car???? ???Oh, thank heavens,??? sighs the drunk. ???For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.???
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| Posted by Castro C. Ntsebeza on 09-Aug-2005 | Pulled OverA cop pulls over a car that's been swerving across the lanes of a road.
"Get out of the car, please."
"But I'm not drunk, officer!" "Listen, it doesn't matter if you're drunk or not. If you don't get out of this car, I'll arrest you anyway."
"Fine," says the man and gets out of the car.
"Okay, now walk this yellow line."
The man looks at the line.
"Which one of them do I walk on?"
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