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| Posted by Ramon Hughes on 14-Aug-2005 | Ducks at the Bar One rainy day, a duck walks into a bar with a cheeky grin
on his face. He orders a bottle of beer. The bartender asks,
"Why are you so happy?" The duck replies, "Oh, I've been in and
out of puddles all day." The bartender gives him his beer.
Another duck walks in the bar. He has sweat all over him
and he's panting like a crazy dog. He orders a glass of water.
The bartender asks him, "Why are you panting like that?" The
duck replies, "I've been jumping in and out of puddles all day
long." The bartender gives him the water.
After the two ducks left, another duck walks in the bar
with a frown on her face. She orders a glass of wine. The
bartender asks her, "Why are you so sad?" The duck replies, "I'm
Puddles."
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| Posted by Yo Momma on 14-Aug-2005 | Animals and Porsche A mouse was walking back home in Africa, when he fell into a
briar bush. Mean while, an elephant hears the mouses call for
help and he tell the mouse to hold on to his dick (sence
elephants don't have hands). So the mouse did as the elephant
wanted and he got out of the briar bush. Then the mouse tells
the elephant that when he needed help, just ask the mouse for it.
About five minutes later, the elephant falls into an
elephant trap. The elephant is screaming for help and then the
mouse remembered his promise to the elephant and so he goes to
the elephant with his Porsche and tells the elephant to hold
onto the bumber with his trunk. Now the elephant does as he is
told and he gets out of the trap.
What's the moral of the story.
If you have a big dick you don't need a Porsche.
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| Posted by Mickey Kirksey on 14-Aug-2005 | Mary's little lambMary had a little lamb,
She tide it to a pylon,
500 volts went up it's ass,
and now it's wool is nylon
Mary had a little lamb,
she knew it cudnt swim,
she took it to the swimming baths,
and threw the fucker in
Mary had a little Lamb,
she also had a duck,
she put them on the mantle piece,
to see if they wud fuck
Mary had a little Lamb,
her father shit it dead,
now everyday she takes it to school,
in a roll of bread!
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| Posted by Frank J. James on 14-Aug-2005 | Whale Hijinx
Two whales are swimming along one day, bored. One whale spots a
ship and suggests to the other, "Hey, why don't we swim under
that boat, and spurt out water so it tips over?"
"Well," says the other whale, "I'll give it a blow job, but I
refuse to swallow to swallow any sea men!"
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| Posted by Aaron D. Fredrick on 14-Aug-2005 | A day in the jungleHow do you hide an elephant?
Stick him up a tree and paint his balls brown.
Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?
Tarzan picking coconuts.
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| Posted by Zak on 14-Aug-2005 | JesusOne Day A Guy Broke Into A Familys House While They Were Out. He
Was Creeping Slowly Up The Stairs When He Heard "Jesus Is Gonna
Get U!" He Stood Still For A Moment Thinking There Was Still
Someone Home. When He Didnt Hear Anything For Awile He Continued
His Way Up The Stairs. The He Heard It Again, He Got Out His Gun
And Turned The Corner, And Sitting There Was A Parrot. He WaS
Releived And The Parrot Said Again "Jesus Is Gonna Get U!" He
Replied "Is That So, And Where Is Jesus" He Laughed And Started
To Walk On, The He Heard The Parrot Say "Jesus Is The Family
Rotwieler"
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