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():animal jokes (1719): Ducks love grapes


Posted by Mo Jo on 12-Aug-2005

Ducks love grapes

A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?"
Guy at the counter says, "No, we don't have any grapes."
Duck says "okay." and he leaves.

The next day the duck comes back in and says "You got any grapes?"
The man once again replies, "No! We do not have any grapes."
The duck says "Okay." and he leaves.

The third day the duck walks in again and asks, "You got any grapes?"
The man is very annoyed and says, "No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your bill to the floor!"
The duck replies "Okay," and leaves.

The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, "You got any nails?"
The man at the counter says "No."
The duck says, "Well then, you got any grapes?"
   

1 people have rated this joke:
9.00/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Dead Fish


Posted by Jude Hey on 11-Aug-2005

Dead Fish

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
   

7 people have rated this joke:
8.86/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Dog Property Laws


Posted by Gertrude P. Catuna on 08-Aug-2005

Dog Property Laws

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.
   

5 people have rated this joke:
8.80/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?


Posted by Master Baaah on 09-Aug-2005

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
   

7 people have rated this joke:
8.29/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): Dr. Seuss's lost tongue twister


Posted by Ann-Marie C. Fleming on 14-Aug-2005
Dr. Seuss's lost tongue twister
See if you can do this:
Read each line aloud

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top.
   

4 people have rated this joke:
8.25/10
     

():animal jokes (1719): the dum fish


Posted by Cow Man on 14-Aug-2005
the dum fish
once there was a fish and it had no tail and mommy and it died

   

146 people have rated this joke:
8.21/10
     

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