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| Posted by Darmah G. Ontario on 09-Aug-2005 | Egyptian Pick-Up LinWhat did the Egyptian man say to the Egyptian woman? "Come behind the pyramid, and I'll make you a mummy!"
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| Posted by cony on 09-Aug-2005 | Indian PromiscuityA woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair. "How did you get that feather?"
the woman asked. "I screw one squaw," the Indian said. Then, another Indian came up to her. He had two feathers in his hair.
"How did you get those feathers?"
she asked. "I screw two squaw," he said. Then, an Indian with a headdress of feathers came up to her. "My! How did you get all those feathers?"
she asked. "I screw two squaw, four squirrel, five rabbit, eight bear."
he answered. "Oh dear!" said the woman. The Indian replied, "No deer, deer jump too high, balls get stuck in bush."
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| Posted by ryan sanders on 09-Aug-2005 | NewsmenQ: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.
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| Posted by Ben Dover on 09-Aug-2005 | mexians and lowriderQ: Why do Mexicans drive lowriders? A: So they can drive and pick lettuce at the same time.
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| Posted by Sex E. Babe on 09-Aug-2005 | VIRUS WARNING lol> > > >> WARNING, WARNING WARNING!! > > > >> > > > >> If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. > > Do > > > not > > > >> open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty. It will not only > > erase > > > >> everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on > > disks > > > >> within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on all > > your > > > >> credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the > > tracking > > > >> on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's > > you > > > >> attempt to play. > > > >> > > > >> If you drive a Ford, it will start missing like a Chevy. It will > > program > > > >> your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's number. This > > > virus > > > >> will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your > > beer. > > > >> > > > >> For god's sake, are you listening? > > > >> > > > >> It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are > > expecting > > > >> company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with > > > >> Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind > > your > > > back > > > >> and billing your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors > > and > > > >> throw things in a way that is only fun when someone loses an eye. > > > >> > > > >> It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs > > to > > > >> passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings that > > grossly > > > >> change the interpretations of key sentences. > > > >> > > > >> If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, > > it > > > >> will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in > > > >> dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the > > > forbidden > > > >> tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your > > skim > > > milk > > > >> with whole milk. > > > >> > > > >> PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN! > > > >> > > > >> If you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart so > > hard > > > >> that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of > > you, > > > >> sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. > > > > > > >
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| Posted by eric yim on 09-Aug-2005 | Glass EyeA fella with a glass eye was at a party. Now he had quite a bit to drink. On one occassion his glass eye fell into his drink accidentally. He drank his drink without noticing. Three days after the party, his hangover was gone, but he still had an upset stomach. He went to see his doctor who examined him but couldn't figure out why the upset stomach. The doctor said ."
OK! One last examination left. Please drop your pants and bend over."
The fella does as he's told. The doctor couldn't believe what he was seeing. For there looking at him was an eye. The doctor calls, "Whats the matter! Don't you trust me?"
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