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| Posted by Philip Jennings on 08-Aug-2005 | Elephant Riddles SevenQ: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed with you?
A: She has a big 'E' on her pajama jacket pocket.
Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks.
Q. Why do elephants have four feet? A. Because lady elephants have big twats.
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
Q: What do elephants use for condoms?
A: Snakes.
Q: What do elephants use for vibrators?
A: Epileptic pigmies.
Q: Why do elephants have long trunks?
A: 'Cos sheep don't have strings.
Q: How do you know when an elephant has its period?
A: There is a quarter on your dresser and your mattress is missing.
Q: What is an elephant's sex organ?
A: His foot... If he steps on you you're FUCKED!
Q: What do you call any elephant who is an expert on skin disorders?
A: A pachydermatologist.
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hooker?
A: A two-ton pickup.
Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?
A: "Can I be on top this time?"
Q: What did the elephant say to the nude man?
A: Cute, but can you breathe through it?
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| Posted by Wasabi angel on 10-Aug-2005 | Elephant PhysiologyWhy do elephants have four feet?
Because six inches isn't enough!
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| Posted by Ulax B. Cool on 10-Aug-2005 | With a monkey wrench!Q: How do you fix a broken chimp?
A: With a monkey wrench!
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| Posted by John Walsh on 14-Aug-2005 | Really Ugly!A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet
store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady
is furious and she storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said
to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked off
now.
The next day she saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey
lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so pissed off that she went into
the store and said that she would sue the store and kill that damn bird.
The store manager promised that the parrot wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her,
"Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?"
And the bird said, "You know."
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| Posted by J R on 12-Aug-2005 | Three flysthere are three flys in a jar two girls one boy one of the girls get tired of being in a jar so she asked the male how do we get out he said suck my dick and ill tell you so she did he told her to fly up to the top as fast as she could so she did and she broke her neck same with the other one and the boy got out.
ask how
suck my dick and ill tell you
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| Posted by luvtalaf alot on 12-Aug-2005 | African SafariA man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an
elephant in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. The man
very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the
thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns
and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
The elephant then continues on its way.
\"I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember
me?\" the man muses to himself.
It is a few years later, and the man is at a circus back in the
States.
He notices that one of the elephants keeps looking at him, almost
like it KNOWS him. The man wonders, \"Could this be that elephant
I helped so long ago?\"
He decides to get a closer look. With the elephant still giving
him the staredown, the man moves in closer, getting right up in
front of the elephant. They lock eyes. A knowing look seems to
cross the elephant\'s face. It reaches down... picks the man up
carefully with its trunk... lifts him high in the air...
throws him crashing to the ground and stomps him to death!
Turns out it wasn\'t that elephant.
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