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| Posted by Charlie Rich on 09-Aug-2005 | Fat LadyLittle boy is in line with his dad, waiting to check out. In front of them is a really fat woman.
Little boy looks her over and turns to his daddy and says, "She is really big and fat isn't she daddy?"
The father is embarrassed and tries to get son to quiet down.
In a few minutes the little boy yells out, "She is the biggest woman I have ever seen!"
The father is embarrassed to tears and bends over and tell his son, "We do not talk about people looking different from us, especially if they are fat. Don't do it again."
The little boy got the message and stood for a long time, until the woman's beeper went off.
He then yelled, "Look out daddy, she is backing up!"
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| Posted by Canadian seven seven eight on 09-Aug-2005 | Tasty Caterpillars?Are caterpillars good to eat?" asked little Tommy at the dinner table.
"No," said his father, "what makes you ask a question like that while we are eating?"
"You had one on your lettuce salad, but it's gone now," replied Tommy.
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| Posted by Jason A. Romig on 09-Aug-2005 | For The TeacherThe teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters "ILU" written on it.
The teacher asks who left it.
A little white girl raises her hand.
Well sweetie, what does "ILU" mean?
The little girl replies, "I love you."
The teacher says, "Isn't that sweet," and continues with class.
The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters "YAS" written on it.
The teacher asks who left and what does it mean.
A little white boy raises his hand and says, "It means, You are special."
"Thank you sweetheart", the teacher says.
The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters "FUCK" written on it.
The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means.
A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, "Yes maam, I left it.
It means, from us colored kids!".
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| Posted by Pierce J. Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | Tasting TestA teacher was testing her class's ability to taste by giving them life savers.
First she gave them all red ones and their hands went up, "cherry!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next she gave them a white one and they thought about it and finally one kid said, "peppermint?"
"excellent," said the teacher.
Finally she gave them honey- flavored brown ones. They tasted the life saver, but could not name the flavor.
"I'll give you a clue. It's something that your mommy calls your daddy" said the teacher.
Suddenly , Dirty Ernie shouted, "Quick ,spit them out ! They're ass holes!"
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| Posted by Frank Geritano on 09-Aug-2005 | WormsA seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a demonstration for his class.
He took two earth worms and in front of the class he did the following.
He dropped the first worm into a beaker of water where it dropped to the bottom and wriggled about.
He dropped the second worm into a beaker of Ethyl alcohol and it immediately shrivelled up and died.
He asked the class if anyone knew what this demonstration was intended to show them.
A boy in the second row immediately shot his arm up and, when called on said: "You're showing us that if you drink alcohol, you won't have worms."
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| Posted by Deborah L. Dallmeyer on 09-Aug-2005 | Bow LeggedA boy would walk down the street and whenever he saw someone with bowed legs would point at them and yell, "Hey look at that bow legged bastard!"
Well his parents tried to break him of this and finally decided that the child needed some refinement.
So they sent him off to a private school where he read the classics, listened to classical music, all the things that are considered cultured.
When the boy went home he spoke to his parents in a dignified manner. After dinner they decided to go for a walk.
Upon spotting a bow legged man walking on the opposite side of the street he said, "So, tell me father - who are these men with balls in parentheses?"
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