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():other funny jokes (4827): Fire drill


Posted by Big-T Taylor on 09-Aug-2005

Fire drill

Everyone knocks our (local) school system as having major flaws in the way they teach, but what can you say about a school where the fire drill is a written test?
   

1 people have rated this joke:
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():other funny jokes (4827): Handkerchief


Posted by Max Hooper on 09-Aug-2005

Handkerchief

How do you make a handkerchief dance?

You put a little boogie in it!
   

1 people have rated this joke:
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():other funny jokes (4827): Tits & train sets


Posted by Joe Bratone on 09-Aug-2005

Tits & train sets

What do electric train sets and women's breasts have in common ?

They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them.
   

2 people have rated this joke:
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():other funny jokes (4827): Potato garden


Posted by Garth H. Shack on 09-Aug-2005

Potato garden

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in Long Kesh Prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad; It's the best I
could do from here."


   

1 people have rated this joke:
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():other funny jokes (4827): Vaguely Obscene Nun Jokes


Posted by Philip Jennings on 10-Aug-2005
Vaguely Obscene Nun Jokes
What is black and white and green and black and white?
Two nuns fighting over a sweaty pickle.

What is black and white and grinds up and down, up and
down?
A nun churning butter.

What is black and white and screams "YES! YES! YES!"
A nun winning at BINGO.

What is black and white and pink and hard?
A nun stopping, lifting her habit up to her shins, and
sratching her ankle bone.

What is black and white and gooey and creamy?
A nun eating a bowl of Tapioca pudding.

What is black and white and makes a wet, sucking sound?
A toothless, elderly nun eating a Communion wafer.
   

1 people have rated this joke:
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():other funny jokes (4827): EMERGENCY EXIT


Posted by Twiggy Ramirez on 10-Aug-2005
EMERGENCY EXIT
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New
Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, George W.
Bush, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator
exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to
fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the
compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad
news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are
four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the
door and jumped from the plane.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the
world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's
greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of
the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.
George W. Bush rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am supposed to be the President of
the U.S. The world needs leaders, and I think leaders should have a parachute,
too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama
spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the
bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a
parachute, and I will go down with the plane."
The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry. The supposed leader of
the free world just jumped out wearing my backpack."
   

1 people have rated this joke:
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