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| Posted by Cronic U. Bobinstein on 13-Aug-2005 | Fire!There were 3 guys who got caught by the Vietnamese. One a Japanese, one a Chamorro, and one a Bangladesh. The 3 men knew that the Vietnamese are afraid of Mother Nature, so they made a plan. One of the Vietnamese called the Japanese guy. They brought him to a room where they will kill him. The Vietnamese aimed a gun to the Japanese. They said "Ready, Aim-" Then the Japanese said "Thunder!" The Vietnamese ran away screaming. The Japanese was free.
Next they took the Chamorro to the same room. They aimed the gun to him and said "Ready, Aim-" The Chamorro said "Lightning!" So the Vietnamese ran away again. And the Chamorro was free.
Next they took the Bangladesh to the same room and aimed the gun to him. The Bangladesh was still thinking of what to say. The Vietnamese said "Ready, Aim-" Then the Bangladesh said "Fire!"
*BAM* *BAM* The Bangladesh died.
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| Posted by kate lyons on 13-Aug-2005 | Pig headedA man walks into a butchers and says"Excuse me sir, but have you got a pigs head?" The butcher replies "why of course we have." the man turned to the butcher and said, "well then give me a pound of mince u porky faced bastard!"
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| Posted by Rey Jose on 13-Aug-2005 | Piratesdid you hear about the deaf pirate.
he had no BUCCANEERS
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| Posted by wierdo on 13-Aug-2005 | Laboratory RabbitsA rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. 'Wow, this is great,' he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
'Hey,' he called. 'I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you guys wild rabbits?'
'Yes we are. We're so glad you escaped, welcome to freedom, please come and join us,' they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and after normal rabbit introductions, started eating the grass. It tasted so good. 'What else do you free rabbits do?' he asked.
'Well,' one of them said. 'You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.'
This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, 'What else do free rabbits do?'
'You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well.'
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. 'Is there anything else free rabbits do?' he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly.
'There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there,' he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. 'They're girls. We shag them. Go and try it.'
Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back over to the guys.
'That was fantastic,' he panted.
'So are you going to live with us then?' one of them asked.
'I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't.'
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. 'Why? We thought you liked it here.'
'I do,' our friend replied. 'But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette.'
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| Posted by Matt S on 13-Aug-2005 | Crazy mixone day there was a gay man who would always get a different man there were threemen and they were talking about how successful their kids were one man went to the bathroom and there left two men one said my son is an air pilot and he bought his girlfriend a airplane the other man said my son is a lawyer and bought his girlfriend a an car when the other guy came out the bathroom he said his son was gay and that his boyfriend bought him a car and an airplane not knowing the two other mens son was gay then the man said my son is dating your sons
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| Posted by Tommy K. Barf on 13-Aug-2005 | SuperbowlA guy wins tickets to the Super Bowl in a charity raffle.
Best seats in the house... right on the 50 yard line and close to the field.
As the game starts, he notices the seat next to him is empty.
He comments to the man across the gap: 'this is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!'
The man replies, 'Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967.'
'Well, that's really sad, but still, you couldn't find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?'
'No,' the man replies, 'They're all at the funeral.'
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