|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by kisa kisa on 10-Aug-2005 | Fishermen and HypochondriacsWhat do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
They don't really have to catch anything to be happy.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by chips on 10-Aug-2005 | Toughest golf foursomeDo you know the toughest golf foursome to play behind?
Monica Lewinski, OJ Simpson, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton. Why? Monica is a
hooker, OJ is a slicer, Kennedy can't drive over water and Clinton doesn't know
which hole to play.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sport jokes (950): 13 THINGS YOU WON'T HEAR AT THE DAYONA 500 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Da MaN D on 10-Aug-2005 | 13 THINGS YOU WON'T HEAR AT THE DAYONA 50013) "None for me thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."
12) "Tampax! Get 'cha Tampax here!"
11) "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race."
10) "Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."
9) "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"
8) "Hey, you with the large breasts -- out of the way! We're trying to watch a
race here!"
7) "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my
attach?© case, then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."
6) "What a coincidence, Hank -- all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"
5) "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"
4) "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a
new corporate sponsor..."
3) "Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."
2) "Filling in for Dale 'the intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute
driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."
1) "...and now, singing our national anthem -- international recording artist
Boy George!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Red Fox on 10-Aug-2005 | Switch jobsAnd here in L.A., there's talk of a teachers' strike. You know, if they ever
strike, here's what they should do: The striking teachers and the striking
baseball players should switch jobs. You see, this way, the teachers would get
paid what they deserve, and the players would get paid what they deserve.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Katie Cramer on 11-Aug-2005 | Bee StingA woman has just started to play golf when she gets stung on the arm by a bee. She rushes back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor. She asks, "Is anyone here a doctor."
One guy, who was pretty drunk, stands up and says, "I'm a doctor, what can I help you with?"
"I've been stung by a bee."
"Oh really, where?"
"Between the first and second hole"
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide..."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Michelle Wy on 11-Aug-2005 | Bear Hunting!Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said: "You've got two choices.
I either maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly says: "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."
Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear says:
"Admit it, Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
