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| Posted by Rob E. Daynes on 14-Aug-2005 | Folding BedsI broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.
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| Posted by Adam E. Hinkhouse on 14-Aug-2005 | Friends"True Friends know the song of your heart and sing it back when
you have forgotten it."
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| Posted by Lisa R. Schwarz on 14-Aug-2005 | PowerNot to the power that raises shanties, but to the power that lowers
panties!
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| Posted by Keith Mc Laughlin on 14-Aug-2005 | Replies...I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they
make as they go flying by.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
through a suitable application of high explosives.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along
without it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're
the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there
the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing
him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape
key.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz, like you are
crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
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| Posted by Fran Mcgrath on 07-Aug-2005 | "... It's easy if you try."..."... It's easy if you try."
- Lennon
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."
- Marx
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| Posted by Akdadevil Bavarian Butchers on 07-Aug-2005 | "Get your facts first,
and then you can distort..."Get your facts first,
and then you can distort them as much as you please."
- Mark Twain
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| Posted by Rik Jordan on 07-Aug-2005 | Beer is good food....Beer is good food.
- John Goodman
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| Posted by Charlie Rich on 07-Aug-2005 | The problem with the world is that everyone...The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Humphrey Bogart
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| Posted by Beck on 07-Aug-2005 | "Some of us are becoming the men we wanted..."Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry."
- Gloria Steinem
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| Posted by Bunny Babe on 07-Aug-2005 | I know the day it happens. On August 29,...I know the day it happens. On August 29, 1997 it's going to
feel pretty f**king real to you too. Anybody not wearing two
million sun block is going to have a real bad day. Get it?
- Sarah Conner (played by Linda Hamilton), in Terminator 2: Judgement
Day, offers a cheery thought for the day.
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| Posted by Briman B. Briman on 07-Aug-2005 | "I love the lines the men use to get us into..."I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put
it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?"
- Beverly Mickins (American comedienne)
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| Posted by JoJo C on 07-Aug-2005 | Always pull up survey stakes....Always pull up survey stakes.
- George Hayduke
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| Posted by pete imaman on 07-Aug-2005 | I learned to put the [toilet] seat down......I learned to put the [toilet] seat down...
it makes you look like a warm, caring, sensitive human being.
- Ralph Noble
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| Posted by Scavenger. on 07-Aug-2005 | "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or..."What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is
being very wasteful. How true that is."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for
the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line
"a mind is a terrible thing to waste"
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| Posted by Ulax B. Cool on 07-Aug-2005 | When you participate in sporting events, it's...When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose
... it's how drunk you get
- Homer J. Simpson
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| Posted by Amy Hakwkins on 07-Aug-2005 | The man with the best job in the country is...The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has
to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"
- Will Rogers
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| Posted by dodo zhang on 07-Aug-2005 | "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth...."On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we
can open all our own jars."
- Bruce Willis (On the difference between men and women)
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| Posted by Vortex on 07-Aug-2005 | Put it back in the horse!...Put it back in the horse!
- H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s,
after he drank his first American beer at a bar.
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| Posted by Hash Brown on 07-Aug-2005 | I love California. I practically grew up in...I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
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| Posted by imadumbass9889 on 07-Aug-2005 | "Sometimes I think astronauts are the luckiest..."Sometimes I think astronauts are the luckiest people on earth, but only
when they're in space."
- Alan Smithee
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| Posted by Kaveh C. Mohebbi on 07-Aug-2005 | Never take a job where winter winds can blow...Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants.
- Geraldo Rivera
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| Posted by Raven Walkus on 07-Aug-2005 | The great secret of success is to go through...The great secret of success is to go through life
as a man who never gets used up.
- Albert Schweitzer
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| Posted by Cordelia Montgomery-Williams on 07-Aug-2005 | I found out why cats drink out of the toilet....I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me
it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother
know THAT?
- Wendy Liebman
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| Posted by Nutty EmUk on 07-Aug-2005 | "The people who vote decide nothing...."The people who vote decide nothing.
The people who count the vote decide everything."
- Josef Stalin
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