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| Posted by Stockers on 11-Aug-2005 | Food + waterDeciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice. But after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff. It goes down real rough."
"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"
"You're supposed to cook it?" he said.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, doc, exactly what's my problem?"
Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
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| Posted by Shiiro M. Ecker on 09-Aug-2005 | The results of a studyAbout 85% of women are responsible for cooking the family dinner, and 84% wish they didn't have to.
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| Posted by josh d. junod on 11-Aug-2005 | The cucumber and the tomatoThere's this cucumber that's dating this tomato.
the tomato says to the cucumber; "i don't really like you."
so the cucumber replies; "that's ok, 'cuz you're not my type!"
*note-this joke works especially well on irritating telephone solicitors*
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| Posted by Todd A. Miller on 11-Aug-2005 | Broccli perfumeA lady walks into the mall. She smells her perfume, "ahh, $50 an ounce."She walks off. Another lady walks into the mall. She smells her perfume, "ahhh, $100 an ounce." The last lady walks into the mall and farts. "Ahhh, Broccli, 98 cents a pound."
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| Posted by aaron bowdoin on 11-Aug-2005 | The Three FoodsThere were three kids that needed a place to stay for the night. They saw a house and knocked..... A farmer ansered the door and the kids asked if they could stay the night. The farmer said yes and told them to sleep in the barn but no matter what DON'T eat his wife's fresh baked pie. So the kids went to sleep. It was 5:00am when they woke up and they were so hungry that they ate the pie. On the next day the farmer was going to punish them and he told them to go pick one fruit each. So thy did. The first kid came back with an orange and the farmer out it up his nose! The second kid came back with a cherry and the farmer put it up his nose! Both kids started laughing and laughung. The farmer said why are you laughing this was supposed to hurt. They said we saw the third kid picking a watermelon.
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| Posted by Paul S. Morette on 11-Aug-2005 | Gold soupQ:how do you make gold soup?
A:you add fourteen carrots
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