|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Prabesh Neupane on 10-Aug-2005 | Footballing definitionsFootball: A game consisting of 22 skilled players, one impartial referee, two
eagle eyed referee's assistants and one stupid ball.
Teammate: Another person that you have to dribble around
Fans: Two sets of abusive referees
Offside: The Bermuda Triangle area of the pitch where "innocent" players are
drawn towards.
Scoring: When 11 men spontaneously start dancing and kissing, regardless of
any injuries, whilst 11 others droop like wallflowers
Striker: Faultless, overpaid, box hogging lay about whom only misses the goal
when he is fed a bad ball
Defender: Player who's function is to commit fouls just outside of the penalty
area
Ball: Round object used by referees to entice players into committing fouls.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Neo V. Michilini on 10-Aug-2005 | Chief worrierA man applied to Sheffield Wednesday FC for a job on the administrative staff.
'What we're really looking for here,' said the chairman, 'is what you might call
a "chief worrier"!
Someone to worry about things like falling attendances, finances, league
promotion, violence on the terraces, and so on. For a chap like that we'd be
prepared to pay ??75,000 a year. Interested?'
'Certainly,' said the applicant.
'But - you'll pardon me for saying this, I hope - where on earth is Sheffield
Wednesday going to find that sort of money for a job like this?'
'Ah!' said the chairman. 'That would be your first worry.'
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by bilal agha on 10-Aug-2005 | GraffitiAt Swindon:
SWINDON TOWN IS MAGIC!
And underneath:
WATCH THEM DISAPPEAR FROM THE SECOND DIVISION!
Dumbarton, Scotland:
JESUS SAVES!
And underneath:
DUMBARTON SHOULD SIGN HIM FOR GOAL!
Second Division Club:
STOCKTON -ON-TEAS FOR THE CUP!
Republican area of Belfast:
BRITS OUT!
Under which someone had added:
EXCEPT CHARLTON, SATTERS, TOWNSEND, SHEEDY AND ALDRIDGE
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by betsy minton on 10-Aug-2005 | Gaelic footballThree football codes prevail in Ireland: Rugby, which is defined as a thugs'
game played by gentlemen; soccer - a gentleman's game played by thugs; and
Gaelic football - a thugs' game played by thugs!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Christine Daae on 10-Aug-2005 | He retaliated first!In the heat of the game, one of the players threw a vicious punch the victim
was all set to get -stuck into him when the referee rushed up and held him back.
'Now then, O'Hara! You know you mustn't retaliate!'
'Come on ref!' said O'Hara. 'He retaliated first!'
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Adam speeden on 10-Aug-2005 | 1 pint of GuinnessTwo Irish tram managers promised their players a 1 pint of Guinness for every
goal they scored during an important match. The final score was 119-98.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
