From Mom's Dictionary......

Sterilize (verb)

What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Valentine's Day...

Valentine's Day (noun)

A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

BASIC...

BASIC (Acronym)

Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

Preheat...

Preheat (verb)

To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish.

Allows for the fingers to be burned when placing the food into the oven, as well as when taking the food out.

Lottery...

Lottery

A tax on people who are bad at math.

Divorce...

Divorce

Post-graduate in School of Love.