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():little johnny (1883): Garage


Posted by Sarah Clayton on 09-Aug-2005

Garage

A little boy and girl where sitting in the sand pit naked. The little girl looks down at the boy and points to his penis and says "What's that?".

"I don't know" says the little boy. He to looks down at the little girl and asks "Whats that?"

"I don't know." says the little girl.

They both went home later on and the little girl says to her mum. "Mummy, whats this?"

The mother replies, "That's your pink gararge, and no red Ferrari is alowed to park in there."

The little boy gets home and goes up to his dad and says, "Daddy, whats this?"

The father replies "Why that's your red Ferrari and you can park it in as many pink garage's as you feel like."

The next day the little girl and boy were playing in the sand pit naked again and the little girl ask the little boy "Whats that?"

And the little boy says "This is my red Ferrari and I can park it in as many pink garages as I feel like." The little boy then asks the little girl.

"What's that?" and the little girl replies "This is my pink garage and no red Ferrari's are allowed to park in here."

Later on the little girl went home and her mother was shocked when she saw blood all over her hands.

"What happened?" asked her mum.

The little girl replied "A red Ferrari tried to park in my pink garage so I pulled it's back wheels off."

Submitted by Admin
Edited by Calamjo

   

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():little johnny (1883): Parking


Posted by The Bunny Monster on 09-Aug-2005

Parking

One night when little Johnny and his dad were taking a shower, little Johnny asked, "Hey dad, what's that?"

The dad replies, "That's my ferrari."

The next day, little Johnny has a shower with his mum and asks, "Mum, whats that?"

The mum replies, "That's my garage."

Later that night Johnny had a bad dream and sleeps in the middle of his mum and dad.

The dad tells little Johnny, "Move over son, your dad needs to park his ferrari in the garage.

Little Johnny says, "Too late, my porsche is already in there!"

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
   

1 people have rated this joke:
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():little johnny (1883): Nearly lost Mom


Posted by taylerann on 09-Aug-2005

Nearly lost Mom

Little Johnny came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.

Rigormortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.

When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why is his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
   

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():little johnny (1883): Penis


Posted by taryn on 09-Aug-2005

Penis

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone handwritten the word 'penis' in tiny small letters.

She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.

The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board.

Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words,

'The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!'
   

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():little johnny (1883): Train conductor


Posted by Porlin Yeung on 10-Aug-2005
Train conductor
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing
with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who
want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you
sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train cause we're
going down the tracks"

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of
language in this house. Now, I want you to go to your room and you are to stay
there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train... but I
want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his
train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All
passengers, please remember to take all of your
belongings with you. We thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We
hope you will ride with us again soon."

She heard her little darling continue... "For those of you just boarding,
remember there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and
relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the
kitchen..."
   

1 people have rated this joke:
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():little johnny (1883): Simple questions


Posted by Ethan Bailey on 10-Aug-2005
Simple questions
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.


The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too
smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than
she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to
answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed

to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should
know.

The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the
third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The
principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

"Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: What's a start with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,

Harry was taking charge.

Harry: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog
do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get
wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best
man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of

heat and excitement?

Harry: Fire truck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in
the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
   

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