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| Posted by jarrod baimbridge on 14-Aug-2005 | George S. PatonThe object of war is not to die for your county! It's to make the other
bastard die for his! Now go kick some German ass!
--General George S. Paton
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| Posted by Avidan Ackerson on 14-Aug-2005 | What Reading Can DoFrom Dilbert.
Reading is knowledge
Knowledge is power
Power corrupts
corrupton is a crime
crime doesn't pay
if you keep reading you'll go broke.
"It always seemed so harmless"
That's what librarians want you to think.
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():funny quotes (263): Anything worth having is worth cheating for.... |
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| Posted by Carrie Sparton on 14-Aug-2005 | Homer Simpson"What are you gonna do then? Let out the dogs? or the bees? or dogs with
bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
"My son, when you are in a sport, it isn't about winning or loosing..it's
about how drunk you gets"
"Bart, a woman is excactly like a beer. They look good, they smell good,
and you would kill your own mother to get one"
"Kill my boss?! Do I really dare to live out the american dream?"
"Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are just made up, just like fearies, trolls
and eskimos."
"Ohh, I love your newspaper. Especially the part with 'increase your
vocabulary'. I find it very...very...very...good."
"Miss! Give me the number to 911!"
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():funny quotes (263): "I'm desperately trying to figure out why... |
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| Posted by Sun -. Shine on 07-Aug-2005 | "I'm desperately trying to figure out why..."I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
- Dave Edison
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| Posted by Amanda Bennett on 14-Aug-2005 | 50 actual newspaper headings(collected by actual journalists)
1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
9. Stud Tires Out
10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
15. Eye Drops off Shelf
16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
17. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
22. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
23. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
24. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
26. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
27. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
30. War Dims Hope for Peace
31. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
32. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
35. Deer Kill 17,000
36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
37. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
38. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
39. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
41. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
42. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
43. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
46. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
49. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
50. Air Head Fired
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