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():funny quotes (263): George S. Paton


Posted by jarrod baimbridge on 14-Aug-2005

George S. Paton

The object of war is not to die for your county! It's to make the other
bastard die for his! Now go kick some German ass!
--General George S. Paton

   

8 people have rated this joke:
9.13/10
     

():funny quotes (263): I don't like to advocate drugs, alcohol, narcotics...


Posted by Carys never u mind on 07-Aug-2005

I don't like to advocate drugs, alcohol, narcotics...

I don't like to advocate drugs, alcohol, narcotics or insanity to anyone. . . but they've always worked for me.
- Hunter S. Thomson

   

146 people have rated this joke:
9.10/10
     

():funny quotes (263): "I'm desperately trying to figure out why...


Posted by Sun -. Shine on 07-Aug-2005

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why...

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
- Dave Edison

   

16 people have rated this joke:
7.94/10
     

():funny quotes (263): "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess'...


Posted by Cindy A. Spencer on 07-Aug-2005

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess'...

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'"
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

   

22 people have rated this joke:
7.27/10
     

():funny quotes (263): Homer Simpson


Posted by Carrie Sparton on 14-Aug-2005
Homer Simpson
"What are you gonna do then? Let out the dogs? or the bees? or dogs with
bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

"My son, when you are in a sport, it isn't about winning or loosing..it's
about how drunk you gets"

"Bart, a woman is excactly like a beer. They look good, they smell good,
and you would kill your own mother to get one"

"Kill my boss?! Do I really dare to live out the american dream?"

"Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are just made up, just like fearies, trolls
and eskimos."

"Ohh, I love your newspaper. Especially the part with 'increase your
vocabulary'. I find it very...very...very...good."

"Miss! Give me the number to 911!"
   

34 people have rated this joke:
7.09/10
     

():funny quotes (263): "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."


Posted by Sundi Jo M. Graham on 09-Aug-2005
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
Maryon Pearson
   

1 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

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