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| Posted by eric yim on 09-Aug-2005 | Glass EyeA fella with a glass eye was at a party. Now he had quite a bit to drink. On one occassion his glass eye fell into his drink accidentally. He drank his drink without noticing. Three days after the party, his hangover was gone, but he still had an upset stomach. He went to see his doctor who examined him but couldn't figure out why the upset stomach. The doctor said ."
OK! One last examination left. Please drop your pants and bend over."
The fella does as he's told. The doctor couldn't believe what he was seeing. For there looking at him was an eye. The doctor calls, "Whats the matter! Don't you trust me?"
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| Posted by thezaniak on 09-Aug-2005 | Mahatma GhandiSurely you've heard of Mahatma Ghandi. He's known for being a mystical, peacefully suberb being. Due to his beliefs he has never worn shoes. And also due to his beliefs, he's a vegetarian, so he's always been frail and suffers from halitosis. So what does that leave you with?
A suberb calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
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| Posted by Maureen Miner on 09-Aug-2005 | What You In For?The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.
"Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too."
"Well, that's a relief."
sighed the stockbroker.
"I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading."
"Oh nothing fancy like that for me."
grinned the convict.
"I just killed a couple of priests."
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| Posted by Eddie P. Yeti on 09-Aug-2005 | Gypsy LoverA woman goes to the doctors, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."
The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.
"Well, what is it?"
he asks.
"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies, "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."
The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Have you been having an affair with a gypsy lately?"
The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually I have."
"That's the problem!" the doctor says, "Tell him his earrings aren't made of real gold......"
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| Posted by Slip Knot on 09-Aug-2005 | Barney the DinosaurEveryone knows Barney, that cute purple dinosaur. But here's something that you may not know:
1. Start with the given: CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
2. Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin anyway) CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
3. Extract all Roman Numerals: CV V L DI V
4. Convert these into Arabic values: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5
5. Add these numbers up: 100 5 5 50 500 1 + 5
---- 666
There you have it: Mathematical proof that Barney is the Antichrist!
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| Posted by Jenny on 09-Aug-2005 | Ear PiercingThe Student in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly pierced ears.
"Does the hole go all the way through?"
"Yes."
i replied "Did it hurt?"
"Just a little."
i told him "Did they stick a needle through your ears?"
"No, they used a special gun."
i said Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?"
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