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| Posted by mark m. miller on 10-Aug-2005 | Goalkeeper's favourite snackWhat is a goal keeper's favorite snack?
Beans on post!
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| Posted by Arjun Landes on 10-Aug-2005 | Captain HookHow did Captain Hook die?
Jock itch.
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| Posted by toby666 on 14-Aug-2005 | Wish to Build a WallThere's a Chelsea fan, a Manchester Utd and a Liverpool fan
walking along a beach. The Chelsea fan trips over something half
buried in the sand. Sure enough, in true joke fasion, it's a
magic lamp, and the Chelsea fan rubs it. Poooof! A genie appears
and grants him 3 wishes. He decides to give his friends a wish
each and the Chelsea fan goes first.
"We've had a ban run in Europe this season so next year, I want
to qualify for the Champions League and win it."
A click of the genie's fingers and the wish is duly granted.
Next it's the Manc's turn.
"Right, our kid.", he says to the genie," I want a fucking great
big wall all the way around Manchester to keep those Scouse
bastards out!"
"Granted!" booms the genie, and the wall appears around
Manchester.
Finally, the Scouser steps up and asks, "This wall...how high is
it?"
"200 feet high" answers the genie.
"Any doors in it" continues the quizical Liverpool fan.
"Nope."
"Windows?"
"Nope."
"Right!", says the Scouser, "Flood the Bastard!"
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| Posted by DJ Davis on 14-Aug-2005 | 10 things to do on a golf course1.when someone is in their back stroke, scream and fall
over\blowhorn\scream swear words
2.Golf cart races
3.tape acceleration down on a golf cart
4.turn on the sprinklers
5.make a sand castle in the sand traps
6.set off weather siren on a sunny day
7.steal someone's clubs one by one until they notice
8.steal a golf cart while someone is teeing off
9.take a really long time to putt. Refuse to let others play
through.
10.play the course backwards. Start with the 18th hole, then the
17th, 16th and so on.
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| Posted by DJ Kooney on 12-Aug-2005 | Saddam is still aliveFollowing the most recent coalition bombing raid Saddam appeared in a videoed address to the Iraqi people:
\"...and to prove I am still alive I will say the Liverpool played shite on Saturday\".
A spokesman for the British Goverment said \"That proves nothing - it could have been recorded months ago\".!
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| Posted by nate f. gayfag on 10-Aug-2005 | Caddy jokesGolfer: Notice any improvement since last year?
Caddy: Polished your clubs, didn't you?
Golfer: Why do you keep looking at your watch?
Caddy: This isn't a watch, sir. It's a compass.
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: Oh, he's played with you, too, huh?
"Caddy, why didn't you see where that ball went?"
"Well, it doesn't usually go anywhere, Mr. Smith. You caught me off guard."
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