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| Posted by cheri shuler on 09-Aug-2005 | GrasshopperA grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, "You have a drink named Steve?"
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| Posted by John Tarrants on 09-Aug-2005 | Wrong End Of The BarThis really tough Hells-Angel type bursts into a bar and strides up to the middle of the bar.
He orders a beer, gulps it down, turns to the people at the left end of the bar and growls "All you down there... You're all a bunch of queer cock suckers!"
He then gulps down a second beer and turns to the right side of the bar... "You're all a bunch of stupid mother fuckers."
All is still for a moment until a guy at the right end gets up. The Hells Angel says "Where the fuck you going?"
The guy says "I'm at the wrong end of the bar."
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| Posted by D. Eliasoff on 09-Aug-2005 | Whats the Pubs NameA man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Hi stranger, my name is Mike. I'll give you a free beer if you can guess the name of this bar in three tries."
The man says, "Thanks...Mike's Place?"
"Nope."
"Mike's Tavern?"
"No,"
"Mike's Pub?"
"No, but here's a free beer anyway. Nobody ever get's it. The joint's name is Sally's Leggs!
"That's a good one." the man says and proceeds to get royally ripped.
The next morning the man is still drunk and sitting on a curb, when a cop pulls up and ask's him what he is doing there. He responds, "I'm just waiting for Sally's Leggs to open, so I can wet my whistle!"
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| Posted by cody on 09-Aug-2005 | New Gorilla in BarA black man enters a bar with his gorilla. He says to the bartender, "I would like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here."
The bartender looks at him like he's nuts and says, " I sorry but I don't serve Gorillas in this bar."
The man has an idea. He takes his girlfriend home and shaves her head, gives her a wig, dress, and makeup. Then he returns to the same bar. He places the same order and this time the bar tender gives it to them.
They go and sit in a corner while the bartender turns to his friend and says, "Damn! Did you ever notice how all the good looking Iraqi ladies that come in here, always seem to be with black men.
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| Posted by Big Slacker on 09-Aug-2005 | Charge By The InchHaving had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side.
An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey ! How about it babe ? You and me ?"
As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars."
She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch ?"
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| Posted by BabyLissa on 09-Aug-2005 | Got Anything SmallerWoman walks into a bar . . . totally nude and asks the barkeep if he can serve her a drink.
He looks her up and down and says, "Well sure, but it doesn't appear by the your appearance that you'll be able to pay for it."
The woman throws one leg up on a bar stool and shows what she's got, "Will this do?" she asks.
The barkeep takes a look and responds, "Ya got anything smaller?"
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