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():funny bumper stickers (25): Gravity -


Posted by Jeremy M. Fouquet on 09-Aug-2005

Gravity -

Gravity - It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Life is too complicated in the morning.

All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography

Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.

My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.

Ask me about my vow of silence.

Today's subliminal message is: ( )
   

6 people have rated this joke:
4.67/10
     

():funny bumper stickers (25): My karma


Posted by Lil Zane C. Rios on 09-Aug-2005

My karma

My karma ran over your dogma.

I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!

A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.

Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.

My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

"I is a college student."

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
   

22 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

():funny bumper stickers (25): Stay in this circle


Posted by Sara Beth on 08-Aug-2005

Stay in this circle

A woman driver bumped into a guy's car and did a fair amount of damage. The male driver asked why she did it, and she replied, "Because I wanted to. That's all the reason I need."

Then the driver said, "You ignorant bitch! Stand in this circle and don't move, then I will mess up your car to teach you a lesson!"

He started by hitting it with a bat, but the blonde started laughing, so the driver turned around, and she stopped laughing.

Then he started ripping up the seat, and again she started laughing, so he turned around, at which point the blonde stopped laughing again.

Then he started messing up the whole car then she started laughing again, so the driver finally asked her why she was laughing and she said, "Well every time you had your back turned I stepped ouy of the circle, so there!"
   

2 people have rated this joke:
2.50/10
     

():funny bumper stickers (25): Those who


Posted by Bernard Z. Elkwood on 09-Aug-2005

Those who

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
   

3 people have rated this joke:
2.00/10
     

():funny bumper stickers (25): It's not


Posted by Misty Jenkins on 09-Aug-2005
It's not
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Mediocrity thrives on standardization.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
   

1 people have rated this joke:
2.00/10
     

():funny bumper stickers (25): If you


Posted by Sonya M. Hamilton on 09-Aug-2005
If you
If you are psychic - think "HONK"

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
   

3 people have rated this joke:
1.67/10
     

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