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| Posted by Eddie P. Yeti on 09-Aug-2005 | Gypsy LoverA woman goes to the doctors, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."
The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.
"Well, what is it?"
he asks.
"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies, "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."
The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Have you been having an affair with a gypsy lately?"
The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually I have."
"That's the problem!" the doctor says, "Tell him his earrings aren't made of real gold......"
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| Posted by Slip Knot on 09-Aug-2005 | Barney the DinosaurEveryone knows Barney, that cute purple dinosaur. But here's something that you may not know:
1. Start with the given: CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
2. Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin anyway) CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
3. Extract all Roman Numerals: CV V L DI V
4. Convert these into Arabic values: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5
5. Add these numbers up: 100 5 5 50 500 1 + 5
---- 666
There you have it: Mathematical proof that Barney is the Antichrist!
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| Posted by Jenny on 09-Aug-2005 | Ear PiercingThe Student in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly pierced ears.
"Does the hole go all the way through?"
"Yes."
i replied "Did it hurt?"
"Just a little."
i told him "Did they stick a needle through your ears?"
"No, they used a special gun."
i said Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?"
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| Posted by Brennan A. Smith on 09-Aug-2005 | Murder MysteryA man finds his seat in the theatre, but it's too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him to the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter and then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."
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| Posted by Cait Cummings on 09-Aug-2005 | Classroom DaydreaminSometimes, when I'm in class, I dream that I'm on a tropical island, with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under a huge palm tree, with some soft gentle music being played on some traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool gentle breeze caressing my tanned body.
I do all this while trying to forget I'm in a classroom.
Of course, it would be so much easier without everyone yelling at me to keep teaching.
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| Posted by Frank Campos on 09-Aug-2005 | Swollen BallsThis guy comes into his doctor's office and tells him he's got a serious problem, that one of his balls is REALLY swollen. So the doctor asks him to show him, and the guy tells him he's not gonna 'cause he knows the doctor's gonna crack up. After about 1/2 an hour of arguing, he unzips his pants, and pulls out something so gigantic it almost breaks the table in half.
Naturally the doctor can't resist and cracks up.
"You lied!" the guy replies, "now I'm NOT showing you the swollen one."
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