|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by immoonglorious on 14-Aug-2005 | HALLMARK CARDS THINGS YOU WON'T SEE ON HALLMARK CARDS
OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
INSIDE: that you're not here to ruin it for me.
OUTSIDE: If I get only one thing for Christmas,
INSIDE: I hope it's your sister.
OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold,someone
to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.
OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in Hell 'till I met you.
OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been
together, I can't help but wonder:
INSIDE: What the f___k was I thinking?
OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well
respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.
OUTSIDE: Sex with you is like using drugs:
INSIDE: Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to
admit it.
OUTSIDE: When we were together, you always said you'd die for
me.
INSIDE: Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept
your promise.
OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm
taking the
kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating
bastard!
OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you,
INSIDE: it's almost like you're here.
OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: buy a dog.
OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by robyn on 14-Aug-2005 | ChristmasIt's the day after Christmas and two kids are comparing notes about what
they'd gotten. The first kid says "What'd you get?" The second kid
replies, "Man, I made out! I got Power Rangers stuff, Nintendo, a new
bike, a Walkie-Talkie set, a stereo, and a whole lot more! What'd you
get?" "Ah, I just got a baseball glove and bat," says the first kid. "Wow,
that's pretty rough," says the second kid. The first kid says, "Yeah, well
I'm not dying of cancer."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by slimchance on 14-Aug-2005 | Ghosts Favorite ClothesWhat's a ghosts favorite clothes?
Boo-jeans.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Brent A. Lund on 14-Aug-2005 | Santa's Worst ConfessionWhat is Santa's worst confession?
He admits that only naughty girls get presents for Christmas!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Tsalbeci on 14-Aug-2005 | embarising moment... ok, well this aint a joke,
this is a true embarrising moment which happened to me last
summer on my holiday to paris for 3 weeks.
the day was very hot. we were bored we needed something to do,
so me and my sister, karren went out shopping. we went to loads
of clothes shops trying on lots of clothes and stuff. We
decieded to try on swimming costumes. i tryed on really ace
ones, adidas, nike, speedo and other makes. karren dared me to
try on this horridable costume, even my granny probobly wouldnt
wear it, i tryed it on and when i saw my reflection in the
mirror i burst out in fits of laughter, i was laughing so much i
wet myself not only that one of the staff made me buy it.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Anna Flack on 14-Aug-2005 | Christmas Trees vs. PriestWhat do Christmas trees and priests have in common?
Their balls are for decoration.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
