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| Posted by sea chelle on 09-Aug-2005 | Hank's BeardBest friends, Vinnie and Hank, are in their local bar, having a few drinks. Vinnie leans over and starts stroking Hank's beard. Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy."
Hank strokes it himself and says, "Ya, you're right!"
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| Posted by Melissa Mclay on 09-Aug-2005 | Bar FliesA man walked into a shop and found the clerk stalking flies with a fly swatter.
"Have you gotten any?"
he asked.
The clerk replied, "Yeah. Three males and two females."
"How do you tell the difference?"
the man asked curiously.
"Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone!"
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| Posted by Jeff R. Janney on 09-Aug-2005 | Bar... DuckmanA man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?"
The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."
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| Posted by Brandi J. Austin on 09-Aug-2005 | Bar... GrasshopperA grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, ''Hey, we have a drink named after you!''
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, ''You have a drink named Steve?''
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| Posted by Adam R. Tark on 09-Aug-2005 | 12 ShotsA guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
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():bar jokes (2610): 15 Signs You Drank Too Much |
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| Posted by Nadia Issa on 09-Aug-2005 | 15 Signs You Drank Too Much15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping ??” with your Oldsmobile. 14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles. 13 - Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday. 12 - Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli. 11 - For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal. 10 - Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes. 9 - For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the automobile. 8 - You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam. 7 - Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer. 6 - Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle. 5 - Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit Man!" 4 - The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants. 3 - Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions. 2 - Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat. 1 - You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.
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