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| Posted by Cara E. Busch on 14-Aug-2005 | Ho Ho Ho?Why does Santa say ho ho ho?
Because those are all the people he slept with the night before!
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| Posted by Joey Bagofdounts on 14-Aug-2005 | LifesavingIt is the summer holidays and Jack is at a water camp. The instructor is
teaching the campers life saving in water.
"So what you do is, you jump in after the drowner. Then you haul that
person back in. Remember to put your index and middle finger on the
person's cheek and use your thumb to move. Do side-stroke to the edge.
Jack, I want you and Jill to do a little demonstration. Jill jumps in and
Jack, you save her in the way I taught you, okay?"
"Okay," said Jack.
What happened next was that a Jill jumped in and started drowning. The
instructor waited for Jack to jump in. Ten minutes passed and Jill drowned
to death.
"Jack, why didn't you save Jill?" he asked.
"I can't swim."
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| Posted by Mat Weber on 14-Aug-2005 | The Grinch and His DrugsThe Grinch stole their papers, their bongs, and their pipes
then he looked round the room for some reefers to swipe
He crawled up the chimney, and scurried away
leaving only seeds and ashes on their tray.
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| Posted by Rani Patel on 14-Aug-2005 | My Christmas PresentLittle Johnny after opening his christmas present is delighted
to see the new train he wanted. He plays with it for hours.
After about 3 hours he screams out, "Hey mom get on the fuckin'
train."
His mother is furious about his mouth and tells him to go sit in
the corner for 30 minutes. After the 30 minutes is up Johnny
goes back to playing. A couple of seconds pass and he screams
out, "hey mom get on the fukin' train were 30 minutes late."
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| Posted by lycanthrope26 on 14-Aug-2005 | Santa Claus, Jolly, Happy and HighOne day, an elf in Santa's workshop is busily working when he sees another
elf handing santa a small green bag with a small little-happy-face sticker
on it.
Now, this elf doesn't look like most. He had black hair, a mustache, and a
big pink-fancy car outback instead of the usual, well...nothing, in fact,
elfs didn't have any form of transportation.
So, he goes up to the strange elf and asks him, "What was that you just
gave Santa?" And the elf replies, "You know why Santa is so happy? Well,
its not just a little tobacco in that brown pipe of his."
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| Posted by Jenks on 14-Aug-2005 | The Amazing CrescanThe Amazing Crescan is going to be putting out an album this Christmas.
It's called, "Your Dreaming of a White Christmas."
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