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():other funny jokes (4827): Hormone - Enzyme


Posted by Zac C. Condie on 10-Aug-2005

Hormone - Enzyme

Q: What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
A: You can't hear an enzyme.
   

8 people have rated this joke:
4.88/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): A rather twisted version of Jack and Jill


Posted by Brian w. labriy on 13-Aug-2005

A rather twisted version of Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and dropped his fly and said, "Do ya wanna?"

Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun,
but Jack forgot his condom, and now they have a son.


   

11 people have rated this joke:
4.82/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Perks of being over 40...


Posted by Jennifer M. Talbot on 12-Aug-2005

Perks of being over 40...

Perks of being over 40...

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.
   

4 people have rated this joke:
4.75/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Little Johnny's Train Set


Posted by tinmil on 14-Aug-2005

Little Johnny's Train Set

Johnny loved his new trainset. His mother could leave him for
hours at a time while she did things around the house without
him to bother her.

One day, while she was cooking dinner, she over heard Johnny.
Everytime the train would pass the station, she would hear him
say "All those that want to get off, get the fuck off, All of
you that want to get on, get the fuck on."

Highly disturbed by this, she raced into the room where Johnny
was playing. "Young man", she said "march up to your room and
think about what I've told you about that kind of language."

So up to his room he goes.

Two hours later, he comes back down and sits down by his
trainset. The train goes around a couple of times and he
proceedes to say "All those who want to get off, get the fuck
off, all those who want to get on, get the fuck on, all those
who are pissed off about the two hour delay, talk to the bitch
in the kitchen.


   

3 people have rated this joke:
4.67/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): Turky


Posted by MaZter0fNtrigue on 12-Aug-2005
Turky
the dog crossed the road ha ha ha
   

3 people have rated this joke:
4.67/10
     

():other funny jokes (4827): First the Dodo died. Then Dodi died. After...


Posted by Tanya N. Boyce on 13-Aug-2005
First the Dodo died. Then Dodi died. After...
First the Dodo died. Then Dodi died. After that Di died followed by Dando. I bet Dido is crapping herself.
   

9 people have rated this joke:
4.67/10
     

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