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():crazy jokes (57): How To Build A Web Page In 25 Steps |
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| Posted by Rosebud on 11-Aug-2005 | How To Build A Web Page In 25 Steps1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like - 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again - 25 minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there - 4 hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.
11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone - 4 hours.
13. Download a counter from your ISP - 4 minutes.
14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number -16.3 E10" - 3 hours.
15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text - 8 hours.
16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP - 40 minutes.
17. Accidentally delete your complete web page - 1 second.
18. Recreate your web page - 2 days.
19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server - 3 weeks.
20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP - 30 minutes.
21. Download FTP software - 10 minutes.
22. Call your friend again - 15 minutes.
23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server - 10 minutes.
24. Connect to your site on the web - 1 minute.
25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps - eternity.
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| Posted by The Purple Lady on 11-Aug-2005 | Potato will always help!There was this really loser guy at collage one day. he was really unpopular so he got the guts to go ask a girl how could he make the girls like him!? SO, she told him to put a potato in his pants! so hes like OK~ if that will help! so the next day he is walking around an everyone is laughing at him and so he goes back up to the girl he asked and said y is everyone laughing at me?? she says well maybe next time u SHOULD PUT IT IN THE FRONT!
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| Posted by Laura Brown on 11-Aug-2005 | To Prick A BobbyQ: How do you prick a Bobby?
A: With a Bobby Pin!
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| Posted by Coastalisis on 11-Aug-2005 | Jokes from the mouths of geeksThese came from the mouths of geeks
and nerds, and all with a nerdy laugh at
the end:
its not earth to eric--its mars to eric!!!
i dont want you to be screwed, i want you
to be nailed!!!
your mama is so stupid she made the
anti-deans list!!!
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| Posted by Ol-Dirty on 11-Aug-2005 | Knock Knock JokeWill you know me tommorow? Will you next week? Will you know me next year? Will you know me in two years? Okay then. Knock Knock. Whos their? I thought that you said you would know me.
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| Posted by Vince Joebob on 11-Aug-2005 | Mop bucketThere was a guy bar hopping and he stopped in a bar. he asked the bar tender where the bathroom is, this guy was dead drunk and he was wabbling side to side down the hall to the bathroom, 5 minutes after he went in there everyone in the bar heard a blood curdling scream, the bar tender said ahh its only a 1 time thing, he'll be ok, 5 minutes later he heasrd a blood curdling scream 2 times as loud as the first, the bar tender goes into the bathroom and finds this guy squatin down and the guy says bar tender there is something wrong woth your john every time i flush this thing sqeezes the heck out of my balls, the bartender says dude your sitting on the mop bucket.
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