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| Posted by Maarten Vaes on 14-Aug-2005 | How to keep an Idiot busyHow to keep an idiot busy {Scroll down}
How to keep an idiot busy {Scroll up}
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| Posted by Eddie P. Yeti on 14-Aug-2005 | Dream InterpretationsMany scientists have dedicated their lives to one subject that
confuses many of us: What our dreams really mean. However, a
group of Swedish scientists recently found a way to tailor what
our dreams mean to our sex. Yes, if a man dreams about flying
sandwiches, it means something different than a woman dreaming
about flying sandwiches. With that said, here is their list of
what our dreams mean:
If you're a woman:
Flying sandwiches: You have too much stress in your life and are
headed for a nervous breakdown
Kings: You are allowing the most important man in your life to
rule over you, and you need to break free and gain some
independance
Caged birds: You must break free from an oppressive job that
constricts all other aspects of your life
The color green: Your sex life is suffering
Wilting ivy: Someone important to you is near death
Having a twin: You have two personalities that you display
around completely different groups of people
A man being killed from behind: Your conscience is eating away
at you for turning your back on a friend in need
Divorce: A split from an important object will change the way
you live your life
And if you're a man:
You dream: You crave more sex
You don't dream: You crave more sex
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| Posted by Payway Elbertse on 14-Aug-2005 | Teacher's PetIt is a teacher's last day, and all the students want to show
their appreciation for her by giving her a present. The
chocolatier's son brings her a box of fine gourment truffles,
florist's daughter brings her a bouquet of flowers, and the
liquor store owner son comes in with a heavy box. The teacher
notices it's leaking on one side, and takes a drop of the liquid
and tastes it. "Champagne"?" The boy says no. "Brandy"? Again he
says no. Finally the teacher says "I give up. And the liquor
store owners son say's "a puppy!"
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| Posted by Mitchy Dee on 14-Aug-2005 | Spider RoomOne man would recieve one million dollars out of three if he
stayed in a room full of spiders the longest.
The first man stayed in there 5 miniutes before running out. The
second man stayed for 10 minutes before leaving also.
The third man stayed for hours and hours before finally coming
out. When he did, many asked, "How did you do it?"
"Easy," said the man, "I killed one and the rest went to his
funeral."
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| Posted by Sarah M. Love on 14-Aug-2005 | The Red ButtonA man was walking down the road and then he just got a huge urge
to go to the dunny. So he ran into the closest store he could
see.
He said to the female accountant "Can I please use your
toilets!". She replied "we only have a females toilet here".
The man said in an instant "But i really need to go..... I'll
pay ya!"
"Aww, ok but whatever you do DO NOT PRESS THE RED BUTTON!!.
He hands over the money.
He sat down on the toilet and did his business, when he finished
he got up and pulled his pants on and went over to this wall, it
was covered with buttons. So he pushed one, it made a sound like
water flowing down a creek. He pushed another, it sounded like
birds chirping. There was one button that caught his attention,
THE RED BUTTON.
"The lady at the counter told me not to touch the button at all,
how much harm could it do anyway?"
(he moved his finger towards it, then he pulled it away, he did
it again but he couldn't do it.
"Oh! what the Heck!".
Everyone in the store heard a humungous scream, everyone ran
towards the scream," what the hell made that man scream so
loud?" asked someone in the crowd. "He pushed the red
button",The accountant said.
"Whats the red button?",asked the guy again.
"A Tampon Remover", said the accountant
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| Posted by Kandi Shingler on 14-Aug-2005 | The Amazing FlyA prisoner at the Edmonton Maximum Security Prison started
training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of
hours,
he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature
high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of
stilts and
sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
"When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly.
"we're
going to tour the night-spots and make a fortune."
Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket,
(inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to
celebrate.
At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started
moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the
bartender.
In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the
local
newspaper, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty
swipe.
"Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Damn things are
everywhere."
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