|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Jonathan LoGalbo on 09-Aug-2005 | How Was I Born?A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey.." said the slightly prudish parent "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted .
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Nicolas Lee on 09-Aug-2005 | Why Is My Name?A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" the mother replied "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The next child walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" She replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
The last child walked up to her and said "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, "Be quiet, Fridge!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Kristen S on 09-Aug-2005 | Daddy LonglegsA little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a daddy longlegs." her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied.
"Both of them are daddy longlegs,"
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.
"Well, we're not having THAT sort of shit in our garden."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Stephen Schug on 09-Aug-2005 | Peeing In The PoolThe boys decided to go swimming, on a hot day. They went to the public pool.
Soon the lifeguard calls them over. She says, "I've been watching you two, you will have to leave now.
"But why?"
"For peeing in the pool."
"Well, but everyone does that." the boys replied in unison.
"Not from the diving board, they don't!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Luis H. Praun on 09-Aug-2005 | Time's Up!One day Vito The Gat goes to his 14 year old son and says, "Today is the day that you get your first pistola!"
The boy replies, "But I don't want a gun. I want a golden watch!"
Vito looks strangely at his son and says, "Wadda you want wit a watch?" Before the son can answer that he says, "Picture this, you come home from a job and you find your wife in bed wit your best friend, Mario. What say then?"
The son replies, "Time's up, Mario!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by B B on 09-Aug-2005 | Supermarket BraveryA man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through -- don't be upset. It won't be long."
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said softly, "There, there, Monica, don't cry -- only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."
When they got to the checkout stand, the little girls immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased. The mother patiently said, "Monica, we'll be through this checkout stand in five minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Monica," he began.
The mother sighed and replied, "Oh, no. I'm Monica - my little girl's name is Tammy."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
