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| Posted by Ally1 on 10-Aug-2005 | Hunting?Don was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small Brown Bear in
the woods and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to
see a big Black Bear. The Black Bear said, "Don, you've got two choices, either
I maul you to death or we have sex." Don decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks Don soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it. There
was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing
right next to him. The Grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake Don. You've got
two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex." Again, Don
thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot
it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge. But then there was a tap on his
shoulder. Don turned round to find a giant Polar Bear standing there.
The Polar Bear said, "Admit it Don, you don't really come here for the
hunting, do you?"
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| Posted by Blindy Rox on 10-Aug-2005 | Olympic condomsA man is out shopping and discovers a new brand: "Olympic Condoms." Impressed,
he buys a pack. Upon arriving home he announces to his wife the purchase he just
made. "Olympic condoms?" she blurts. "What makes them so special?"
"They're in three colors," he replies, "gold, silver, and bronze."
"What color are you planning on wearing tonight?" she asks cheekily.
"Why, gold, of course," says the man proudly.
"Really?" she responds. "Why don't you wear the silver tonight? It'd be nice
if you came second for a change."
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| Posted by Stefanie D. Fischer on 10-Aug-2005 | Perfect shotA guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking
down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his
partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit
the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the
clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man-you don't stand
a chance of hitting her from here!"
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| Posted by Joe Mama on 10-Aug-2005 | Marv albert and bryant gumbelQ: Know why Bryant Gumbel left NBC?
A: He was tired of all the back-biting!
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| Posted by Rey Jose on 10-Aug-2005 | Mike tyson's computerQ: Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson Computer?
A: It has two bytes and no memory.
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| Posted by Kathryn Ellis on 10-Aug-2005 | Jets fans, bewareA guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, 'No pets
allowed.' The man replied, 'This is a special dog.
Turn on the Jets game and you'll see.' The bartender, anxious to see what will
happen, turns on the game.
The guy says, 'Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips.' The Jets
keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. 'Wow! That's
one helluva dog you got there! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?'
The man replied, 'I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years!'
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