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| Posted by ang b on 09-Aug-2005 | I can go fishing!Little Johnny walks into a pharmacy and brings a box of tampons to the register.
The cashier looks at the boy and asks, "Hi. Are these for your mom?"
Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, "Umm, no."
The cashier says, "Oh. Then they're for your sister?"
Little Johnny says, "Uh-unh."
The cashier, now a bit curious, says, "Oh. Then they must be for your granny!"
Little Johnny says, "Nope."
The cashier is now really confused. Finally she asks, "Well, what are you going to do with them?"
Little Johnny says, "Well, I'm not sure yet. But on TV, they said if I buy these I can go fishing and swimming and horseback riding!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Michelle Wy on 09-Aug-2005 | The whole truthAt school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth."
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door.
The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Champ on 09-Aug-2005 | Few hairsLittle Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.
"Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother.
"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.
Or, she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have so much hair?"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by bubble and squeak on 09-Aug-2005 | Fire dog!A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed by.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.
The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child concluded, "No, silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis and yisman
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| Posted by lafonda on 09-Aug-2005 | Teachers giftAs the end of the year rolls around, a kindergarten teacher starts getting presents from the children in her class.
First, a little girl whose father owns the meat shop in town hands her a box.
The teacher shakes it and says, ???I bet it??™s some beef jerky.???
???It is!??? the girl cries.
Then a little boy whose father owns a local candy store hands her a box.
The teacher shakes it and says, ???I bet this is some candy.???
???Yes, it is!??? the boy squeals.
Finally, a boy whose dad owns a liquor store comes forward. As the teacher takes the present, she notices it??™s leaking.
After tasting a drop from the box, she says, ???I bet it??™s white wine.???
???No,??? the little boy says.
So the teacher puts a few more drops into her mouth. ???It??™s champagne, right???? she says.
???Nope!??? the little boy cries, happy that he has fooled his teacher.
???I give up,??? she says. ???What is it????
The little boy shouts, ???It??™s a puppy!???
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by Coli E. Pritzker on 09-Aug-2005 | Grandma helpsA little boy needs to use the bathroom, but he??™ll only go if his grandmother helps him.
???Daddy, I have to pee,??? he says to his father. ???Go get Grandma.???
???Don??™t bother Grandma,??? the father says. ???I??™ll take you to the bathroom.???
???No!??? the boy whines. ???Grandma!???
???Why must you always go to the bathroom with Grandma???? the father asks.
???Because her hand shakes.???
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
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